I’m Bringing Back The Shower Beer

I'm Bringing Back The Shower Beer

This past weekend, I did something I haven’t done in a while: back to back men’s league hockey games. As a cubicle warrior, I haven’t exerted this much effort in quite some time. It’s not like I don’t enjoy exercise; I love a good hike, occasionally trekking to the gym or climbing 10 flights of stairs every morning to work but back to back games really wore me out.

Luckily, I live three minutes from the rink. After two games (both wins I may add), I smelled like a homeless person. Anyone that has played or been around those that play hockey can attest to how disgusting sweaty hockey equipment smells, especially since much of my stuff is from my high school years (I graduated in 2007). After all that effort and energy expended, the only thing in the world I wanted was an ice cold beer.

One of life’s treats is enjoying an ice-cold beer in a warm shower. It could be a cold day, hot day, rainy day, long day; there is no bad time for a shower beer. I’m a working man. I pay all my bills on time. Why not let the hair down sometimes?

In college, the shower 40 was somewhat of a ritual. I fondly remember bringing in some Miller High Life 40s, turning on the shower and drinking beer before a night out. It was a way to multitask, to lay down a booze foundation while cleaning the days grime off my once in shape body. At our house, sometimes we’d tandem shower (there was a divider) and my brothers and I would drink 40s, talk about who was on the radar for tonight, life, where we were going that night, anything. The shower beer was truly a bonding experience.

Now, I can afford some of the fancier beers. Sure it’s great to imbibe some .99 Labatt Blue pounders or go with the old reliable Yuengling Lager, but pairing your beer to the season and occasion is like a craft in itself. Hot day doing yard work? May I suggest a Summer ale or shandy? Cold winter days go great with a stout. Why not drink a nice IPA after an early spring trek through the woods? Don’t be pigeonholed, do it big and do it often.

You don’t have to stop there. Shower beers are all about you. Hell, it doesn’t even have to be beer. Wine, mixed drinks, a fine bourbon are all acceptable. You start getting a little risky with glass so be careful. I haven’t had any unfortunate glass breakages, but to be safe, going with cans for those of you with butterfingers may be best. As well, why not a bath beer? A bath wine? Make it your own.

Some places will sell attachments for shower beer holders. I’ve come a long way from using the top of a concrete shower divider. In my shower, I have a four shelf rack with one of them solely devoted to drinking in the shower. I even have an empty Molson Canadian bottle from my first shower beer in my first apartment with the Mrs. It has since travelled to our townhouse as a monument to the greatness that is the shower beer (it has been there for three years now).

The best part about the shower beer is how versatile it is. There is no wrong way to do it and no one has ever said, “Man I really wish I didn’t drink that beer in the shower.” If you’re hearing about shower beers for the first time, I feel sorry for you but I hope to welcome you to the club. If on you frequent Reddit, there’s even a subreddit r/showerbeer with varying degrees of NSFW.

After a long day on the trails, on the ice or in the office, the beer shower never lets you down. The first one goes down smoothly, and if you’re feeling adventurous, bring a second one. A third? Drink with your wife/husband, your girlfriend/boyfriend, your dog, your Tinder date or whatever it is you kids do these days. Life is too short to not enjoy a shower beer.

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I specialize in damage control, being the drunkest at any and all functions and social assassination. Always appreciate a strong gif game. Follow me on Twitter. Sometimes I put up cool stuff about golfing at the local dirt tracks.

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