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IHOP was torn to pieces on Twitter recently when they revealed one of the worst marketing ideas capitalism has ever seen — IHOb. The renowned pancake place decided, for some reason, to move the brand away from their delicious pancakes and towards the crowded burger space, except with no breakfast spin. However, it got me thinking, what if someone came out with a line of breakfast-specific burgers? They would absolutely own the brunch game. Burgers and bottomless mimosas? Take my money.
I first tried a breakfast burger when, after living here my entire life, I tried the Atlanta food staple known as the Luther Burger. Well, I didn’t “try” it. I inhaled it. The Luther Burger, for those of you who are not familiar, is a burger with a glazed donut (usually Krispy Kreme) as a bun. It’s widely accepted that Mulligan’s in Decatur, GA was the creator of the Luther Burger, so at some point, I suppose I had to really raise my risk threshold for type 2 diabetes and try it. It was delicious. The sweetness of the glaze goes well with the fat, cheese, and even the ketchup. So, why not take the Luther Burger model and experiment with other breakfast burgers?
Breakfast burgers would be a huge hit, especially on weekends to the drunk and hungover. Think of an Angus beef patty with bacon between two pancakes and maple syrup in place of ketchup. A bacon burger between two fried eggs for those of us perpetually in ketosis. A quarter pound of beef with cheese between two hash brown patties with ketchup and mustard. And, of course, a Luther Burger. The possibilities are endless, and if the restaurant is a breakfast or brunch place, they already have all the ingredients. And, for good measure, they could also offer a regular cheeseburger for the traditionalists.
If no one is willing to take the mantle of the breakfast burger king, it’s up to me to either go find myself a good Luther Burger in town or make my own iteration of a breakfast burger. A little Bisquick, maple syrup, a couple of slices of bacon, and a handmade beef patty and I’ve got myself an amazing hangover cure. I’m all in on the concept of a breakfast burger and I think we, as a nation, need to make our voices heard to ensure this is a menu item at a number of breakfast places around the country.
The breakfast burger will unite the country in its greatness, and we will thank it for its service. Every city could even have its own iteration based on what it is known for. A Texas brisket pancake burger. A KC barbecue breakfast burger. The New Orleans beignet burger(!). The possibilities are endless. The breakfast burger will be for everyone to enjoy. At least until MUNCHIES comes out with an article about how Brooklyn breakfast burgers are taking over the world. .