I’m A Grown Ass Woman, And I Still Drink Cheap Beer

I’m A Grown Ass Woman, And I Still Drink Shitty Beer

Everyone drinks cheap beer in their youth. Isn’t that like some type of rite of passage? Don’t you have to go through years and cases of Natty Light before you can be called an adult? But most people grow out of the PBR stage. Most people eventually start drinking Blue Moon, or Guinness. This is exactly why I get major side eye when I casually order my Bud Light at the bar.

I expect this side eye now. I know that it is coming from the second that the word Bud leaves my mouth. I get it from the bartender. I get it from the guy I’m with. I get it from my friends. Hell, my own father makes fun of me for my decisions when it comes to beer. I don’t know if their judgment ever bothered me, probably because I’m a strong independent woman who will get whatever beer she damn well pleases.

But you know why I always get Bud Light? It’s because it never disappoints. Sure I could get some cool craft beer, one that has some citrus, or maybe one that is full bodied. How about one that is wheat based? But trying out those beers is hit or miss. Do I really want to take a gamble on my beer just because people will give me side eye if I order the cheapest one? Absolutely not. Every single dollar counts for me right now, and the last risk I’m going to take is on beer. I’ll take a risk at a casino. I’ll take a risk and see if I really like the catfish Po-boy. But I will be damned if I am going to chance my beer choice. That’s, at least, twelve ounces and a couple dollars away from my buzz. Do I chance that because I want to look like I know anything about beer? Absolutely not.

And do you know how expensive “good” beer is? If you live in a town like mine that has breweries on every corner, you’ll know this struggle. Eight dollars for a beer is highway robbery. How am I supposed to get drunk on a budget with beer that expensive? Sorry, I’m not sorry at all for being fiscally responsible. I can get like three Buds for the price of your one craft beer. I’ll save so much money that I’ll be able to take a trip, and while I’m on that trip I’ll drink my shitty beer, and I’ll be just about blissful.

I know at some point I should graduate onto better beers. I know there will come a day when I no longer get a six pack of Bud Light Lime for a barbecue at a friend’s house. I know that eventually I will be laughed completely out of my friends’ lives because of my beer choices. But doesn’t one sip of crappy beer just make you feel young? It takes me back to college. It takes me back to day drinking for no reason other than a pretty day. It takes me back to days when that was all I could afford, and wasn’t complaining.

Judge me for my beer choices. Go ahead, give me side eye when I order my Bud Light. Don’t worry, I’ll be laughing when you can only order two because you are over your budget for the night, and aren’t nearly as drunk as I am.

Image via Shutterstock

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Lauryn Polo

Writer, queso enthusiast, traveler, caffeine addict, and part time philanthropist.

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