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“Hmm, do I buy the Starbucks Sumatra k-cups or the generic dark roast? If I buy the Starbucks ones, can I afford the name-brand paper towels?”
I tumble through this mental gymnastics routine every two weeks when I’m picking up groceries. I stand in the aisle, eying my options, and mentally budgeting what I can or can’t afford. If I went out for lunch a few times during the week in lieu of brown bagging it, I usually have to opt for the budget brand. However, this changes when I walk into Target. I’ll double down and splurge for both. Target holds me to a higher standard.
Let’s face it: shopping at Walmart is a freakin’ nightmare. By the time I’ve traversed through the hordes of screaming kids, dodged erratic shopping carts, and cussed at the self checkout machine, I’m exhausted. AP ranked Walmart #1 in “Places to find people wearing tank tops who shouldn’t be wearing tank tops”. I don’t have a source for that, but you can believe it right? Walmart has no structure, no rhyme, and no reason. It’s a dystopia of proletariat chaos.
Let me be clear: I’m not saying I am above the people who shop at Walmart. My family has blue collar roots and I’m proud of it. I like to drink cheap beer out of Styrofoam coolers. I can admit that I like the taste of Great Value peanut butter. I’m simply not comfortable when I shop in the madhouse that is Walmart.
The sensory overload of the place just beats me down. The last thing I want to do when I get off work is subject myself to the stressful brutality of that place. It chews you up and spits you right out.
At Target, I’m on my A Game. The products are well organized, the associates are friendly, and the selection is fantastic. It’s a superior shopping experience all around. People there even say “Excuse me” when they pass through the aisle. Plus, have you seen the good looking older women who frequent the place? I fall in love at Target every time I go.
Sometimes I go in there just to peacock. “Sure Karen, I’ll reach up there and help you grab that 6er of Lime Perrier,” I say as I tuck a pack of La Croix into my cart, right next to the SPF 8 Tanning Oil and copper mug set.
By the time I’ve perused Target’s home décor display, eyeballed their extensive cheap wine selection, and gathered the items on my grocery list, I’m walking out of there with full bags and my head held high. My boosted confidence means I always end up splurging for the good stuff. The fancy K-Cups, the softest Charmin TP, Jif Peanut Butter… give me all of it.
Sure my wallet might be a little emptier, but the relief and good mood I carry with me is enough to fill the void in my checking account. Besides, the ladies who shop at Target are used to a certain lifestyle. I’ve gotta show ‘em that I can keep up with the Joneses..
Image via artzenter / Shutterstock
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@BOATSnJOES
It took me the majority of this article to try and figure out your gender, and I’m still not real confident in my choice
#targetbathroomchoices
Workers at Target don’t seem to despise their life like most Wal-Mart employees.
Worked at Target while job hunting after college. Can confirm. Did not hate my life during my time there.
Worked there in high school. When I left for college, instead of a college leave, just decided to fire me.
Had a friend who told me she used to just allow her high school friends to steal stuff from Walmart because nobody was paid enough to care or stop them.
I was a little vague. It was Target I worked for.
Every time I go to Target with the intent of a small, simple purchase I blow over $100. Bastards.
It’s a damn shame that Meijer is only in a few states in the Midwest because honestly you guys don’t know what you’re missing. It’s like Walmart and Target had a love child with the best qualities of each (Walmart’s lower prices and Target’s good customer service).
I prefer Meijer for groceries over Target – especially for meat. But there’s just something about their color scheme that is awful.
I worked at Meijer in high school before moving to MN. While nice, Meijer is no Super Target.
I disagree. Meijer is not very nice around here. The one near me is next door to our Target and it is a dump and much more expensive.
Signing up for the RedCard Debit Card to save 5%. PGP
Not only getting the Red Card to save 5% (which really adds up for a frequent Target shopper), but also downloading Target Cartwheel to ensure you get an extra percentage off your already (probably) generic brand groceries.