======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====
When I stepped into Costco last week before coming back to Chicago, I didn’t know that my life was about to be forever changed. This was to be a grocery store trip on my parents’ dime – a going away present after spending the holidays at home in the serene, oh so pure Michigan.
We waded our way through throngs of people for detergent, toothpaste, braised ribs, prime cuts of steak, and all of the miscellaneous snack food that one could possibly think of. Everything at Costco is somehow on sale.
The store is so quintessentially American in its clientele and affinity for bulk items. You want Cheez-Its or Veggie Straws? You’re going to have to buy an entire fucking palette because that’s the only way Costco sells them. It’s a grocery store unlike any other, equal parts disgusting and amazing at the same time.
Now, as all of you know, I’m always at the forefront of fashion. Normally Costco would not be the place that I’d choose to go shopping, but as my mother and I began piling food onto the conveyor belt towards the front of the store to check out, a jacket caught my eye.
It was a Carhartt knockoff made by Bass. You know the classic Carhartt jacket, don’t you? Insulated and made with a waterproof exterior that is perfect for hard labor during the cold winter months? I couldn’t take my eyes off of this jacket.
“Hold on,” I said to my mom. “Let me go check this jacket out really quick.”
It was on sale for thirty dollars and with the amount of money that my parents spend annually at Costco, that price point was perfect. A drop in the bucket compared to trips that they usually make. My mother said something along the lines of, “Say no more, fam,” and just like that, I was the proud owner of a really warm, durable jacket.
I placed it on the conveyor belt alongside a metric fuckton of eggs and some spinach dip. Before I knew it, the jacket was on my person and I was walking back to my mom’s Equinox in hog heaven.
It’s strange to say but this jacket has totally changed me. When I put my wannabe Carhartt on, I considered myself an outdoorsman, a huge fan of trickle-down economics, and just regular badass.
I’m a handyman around the house in my knock-off Carhartt and I could probably get a job on a construction site as a foreman or, at the very least, day laborer just off of my appearance alone. I have a more grizzled appearance when I’m strutting my stuff out in the elements.
This jacket gives me an “everyman” quality that my expensive Patagonia goose down jackets just don’t have. When I have this jacket on I’m a “shot and a beer” guy at the local VFW down the street or the hole in the wall with used needles in the bathroom. To people that see me in this thing, I watch Ice Road Truckers religiously and eat venison because I’m a guy who likes to hunt for his food and provide for his family the old-fashioned way.
I walk into gas stations and convenience stores with my faux Carhartt and people quiver in fear, but also know that my favorite brand of dip is Copenhagen straight. In absence of that, I’ll take a Marlboro Red and your wife while I’m at it. It honestly feels like I get more respect from strangers and passerby on the street when I’ve got it on.
This Bass jacket isn’t so much a fashion statement as it is a way of life. It’s a mask that I can hide behind to truly change my personality. This lifestyle probably isn’t for everyone and I understand that. But next time you’re in a Costco, I would highly recommend, at the very least, considering picking one of these suckers up. I’ve never felt like more of a man’s man than I do when I put my arms through this jacket. Raise hell, praise Dale. .
Image via YouTube
Respond
jduda@grandex.co
Laughed way too hard at “I’ll take a Marlboro Red and your wife, while I’m at it.” Quality line
my favorite line too
I just got paid 9k D0llar working off my laptop this month. And if you think that’s cool, my divorced friend has twin toddlers and made over 14k her first month. It feels so good making so much money when other people have to work for so much less. Read more info… www.Jobzon3.com
Not surprised at all Duda’s Mom still buys him groceries
lmbo
the second half of this column >>>
Hope you went with the classic “Worker Brown” and not some fufu fashionisto color like “Olive.”
Ah yes…this is called a sport coat out in Midland
You just jealous cause you from midland
WHO PAYIN’ YOU
I use to make fun of the Carhartt jackets. Then I picked up one at tractor supply a few years back, and if it’s not my favorite jacket I’ve ever owned.
I’m a big fan of the hoodless sandstone Carhartt. People assume you’re directly related to George Strait when you have it on.
Hey, if your mom is still offering to buy you groceries at age 26, you might as well get an off-brand rancher jacket while you’re at it, I guess.
hardoooooooooo
Gotta put some wear on that jacket… Freshman summer, first year of construction showed up with some new Carhartt pants. Got ripped for the first month like the rookie I was. The more and more they wore, the more respect I got and the fact that my work got better too. After working college summers in construction, my collection of Carhartt’s/Dickie’s have some good wear that just can’t be thrown out 10 years later.
Yes. You have to make the regular brown one turn a way lighter shade and then people know.
Highly recommend adding a fleece lined denim jacket to your rotation as well.
Picked up some fleece lined Carhartt pants at the goodwill for $8. Life changing.
Carhartt is the truth. It might not be the most fashionable but in terms of function and quality and a product that will last a lifetime Cathay is amazing. I’ve had a coat for over ten years now.
Apparently it’s a fashion brand in the UK. It’s pretty popular here in CO as well with brewers and stuff, but mostly I thought it was always just for welding and working on farms.
Huh, learn something new everyday. Dad was a contractor and I’d help him out on job sites, so wore it growing up and it definitely wasn’t stylish back then in school.
I stand by though if you want something that will hold up in the elements, it’s the way to go.
They sponsor Von Miller