I Almost Lost Everything Supporting Big Cold Brew, Now I Make My Own

My Life Cold Brewing My Own Coffee

I’ve come to speak to you today about cold brew. Cold brew coffee to be specific. It’s a subject that means a lot to me because it’s honestly changed the way I live life. Admittedly, I was a little late to the game on this advancement in coffee technology. Some say that New York City, The Big Apple, was singing its praises as far back as 2013. Who knows if that’s true or not. And while there will always be a place in my heart for traditional cold brew, the type you’d get at Starbucks or from one of the hundreds of brands out there bottling it up and selling it for profit, I had to move on. I didn’t have a choice.

At the height of my cold brew addiction, I was running through three, sometimes four, 11 dollar bottles of cold brew concentrate per week. I was the talk of the town. No deadline was too daunting, and no happy hour was too overwhelming. I was surging. I could hear the whispers as I exited meetings. “Something about him is different.” They were right. Something was different. And I was headed for financial ruin.

As I sat in the cigar lounge at Javier’s in Dallas waiting on Hunter, my wealth management advisor, to rejoin me after a trip to the john, I knew we were about to have a real conversation. Hunter’s been with me since day one; a trusted friend and confidant who’s not afraid to lay it all out there. That’s why I respect him. He knew a pending train wreck when he saw one. I puffed my Partagás Series E No. 2 one last time as he approached.

“I hear everything you’re telling me, Dave, and I think it’s time you cut back on the cold stuff.”

Even though I knew what he was saying was true, I didn’t want to believe it. I didn’t just drink commercial cold brew to help peel me out of bed after a long night out with a new client from Myanmar; no, I was well beyond that. I needed it like Nelly needed Paul Wall on “Grillz.” But the truth is that it was draining my savings at a rate I’m uncomfortable discussing in this forum.

“Why don’t you just make your own?”

Make my own? Make my own.

Now that was an idea. I’m a maker by nature, so the thought was intriguing. Creepy Crawlers, Real Power Tool Shop – I made a trill ass birdhouse one time. You name it, I’ve made it. I’d heard of a few others out there concocting their own cold brew, but did I have the chops to turn my kitchen into a craft brewery? You bet your thin little ass I did.

He is the Primula Cold Brew Glass Carafe Brewing System, or as I call him I named him Odin, son of Yemen and king of the Æsir. After a very thorough search through product reviews on Amazon, something about it just spoke to me. Yes, part of it was the reasonable price, but the ease at which I could cold brew made it a no brainer. No longer would I be a pawn in big coffee’s game. Shackles broken. Coffee cold. Mind optimized.

And that’s how it started. Each batch of highly concentrated cold closer juice has its own character and is named accordingly. This week I’ve been casually sipping on Vigo, named for the electric current you feel as it enters your veins. 15 hours in the fridge, one hour at room temperature. Light fuse, get away.

To this day, I set aside a few ounces and have it hand delivered to Hunter’s office as a show of thanks. Without him, who knows where I’d be. Probably dead. Thanks, Hunter.

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Lawyer. Writer. Dude doing business. I'm the meatloaf guy from tv.

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