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It was a dreary day; a general malaise had settled over the office and everyone was feeling the weight. Our HR Director popped her head in my office and mentioned that she needed to get out before she fell asleep at her desk and I should come along. We decided to set out for lunch early at a smoothie place down the road.
We ordered our chia boost blends and sat down to slowly sip away and chat, happy to be free from the confines of a computer screen. She explained to me a new Keto diet she was trying and all the ins and outs of what she can eat. I remembered a recipe I had seen during my daily binge of Martha Stewart’s website that seemed to match this diet plan spot on. I pulled out my phone to share the recipe.
Rewind to earlier in the day. I had been to the doctor’s in the morning and had been informed I had gained a couple of pounds since my visit three months ago. My family Physician was pretty jazzed about this fact since I had dropped a lot of weight earlier in the year, but I wasn’t too thrilled. My unplanned stress and anxiety summer weight loss plan had been a nice surprise, and I didn’t want to lose all the fruits of my unintentional labor.
I then did what any normal person would do, and scrolled through some old messages to find a picture sans clothes, so I could compare my then bod with the current. Did my thighs look smaller back then? Had all the weight gain gone to my boobs maybe? In the confines of the doctor’s office bathroom, I hadn’t thought twice about pulling up an inappropriate picture of myself. It wouldn’t have been an issue either if I had taken proper steps to keep this activity in the private realm. Unfortunately, after I was done hyper-analyzing my “then” stomach with the “now,” I had simply locked my phone in a rush to get back to the real world.
So here I was, unlocking my phone in front of a co-worker, and the head of HR no less, and of course my loyal iPhone has patiently stayed on the last message I had up. As soon as the screen flashed, I knew I had fucked up. The image was only visible for a hot second before I scrambled to hit the home button, but the damage was done. There was an obvious air of awkwardness as neither of us said anything, and I half-heartedly pulled up the recipe I had wanted to share. There was no denying she had seen the photo in its entirety, my face included.
The rest of the lunch felt ruined as the conversation struggled to stay alive, and I felt my face flush every time I thought about my post-shower picture scarring this poor woman’s mind.
I spent the rest of the day glued to my desk in embarrassment, and played the situation repeatedly in my head. What sucks is I couldn’t even offer an explanation to soften the weirdness of the whole mess. The HR Director probably thinks I was rubbing one out to my own photo in our office, or that I’m actively sexting during the day with pictures of myself ready to go. I’m just waiting for the mass email reminding us all to be conscious of what is “work appropriate content.”
It could have been way worse. At least I didn’t attach the photo to a companywide email, or have pulled up something more graphic. At this point, there’s really nothing I can do, it seems best to just not acknowledge what went down and act like it never happened. I can mope around for a little bit, but there’s no use crying over spilled milk.
…or exposed nipples. .
Respond
Kell
future soccer mom of America (AKA I drive a Volvo.) Miracle is my favorite movie and it should be yours too.
@backpackfanclub
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I can’t assess how bad the fallout is without knowing what the picture looks like, sorry
Had a friend send an email to a client from his phone and grabbed the wrong attachment from his dropbox. Instead of getting a project plan, the client received an adult video, so there’s that.
Had a manager start a meeting by projecting an excel of everyone’s salary. The company worked horizontally; we all did the same job just varying levels of experience. Sure was fun to work together once a 6x salary pay gap was out in the open.
We get fired if we ever reveal our salary.
I’m no lawyer, but I’m pretty sure that’s illegal
Nope. Perfectly legal so long as it’s not discriminatory.
In a right-to-work state… maybe. However, the NLRB resoundingly has sided with workers when discussing pay rates, as it counts as protected concerted activity.
It’s incredibly uncommon that an employer would get away with firing someone for talking about their salary. Fortunately for them, most workers don’t know their rights.
Most states have (or will have) pay equity laws that will prevent employers from doing this. Know your laws and protect yourself against The Man.
Don’t worry too much about it, with global warming kicking in nicely, everyone’s gonna be naked and it will level the playing field from a fashion standpoint as well as a socio-economic/class rank standpoint. Naked fascism is going to be the new trend and also HR doesn’t need to exist anymore because of the internet and AI. Yay!
Welp, might as well just show all of us then.
I would just own it. Time to start strutting.
There’s a crude joke I can make somewhere in here
If it makes you feel better after consuming a catastrophic amount of alcohol two of my former coworkers intentionally exposed themselves at a cookout where coworkers, clients and SOs were present. Awkward environment at work the next day to say the least
Way to go, Idaho 😛
Trust your friendly neighborhood HR person. It’s cool.