How To Redecorate Your Tiny Apartment


Decorating your apartment is a tiresome, tricky thing. Most of us are in our transient years, drifting from leases and locations like a J.Crew hobo riding the rails. We’re chasing after our dream jobs or moving in with our significant others (and no, that’s not happening any time soon, Mom). So why should we go through the effort of creating something that will only last a matter of months?

Additionally, anyone who has gone through the hell of moving realizes the double-edged sword of purchasing decent furniture. You can’t abandon those heavy items like a tiny kitten in the freezing cold because you sold your soul for that tufted leather Restoration Hardware couch. On the flip side, Ikea may be cheaper and disposable, but it’s going to break after a certain amount of time, and everyone has the same damn unpronounceable coffee table as you.

Because I’m emotionally dealing with the trials and tribulations of both wanting to satiate my interior decorating demons and general apathy for something that will only exist until early spring, here are my tips and tricks for redecorating without completely losing your mind.

Step 1: Alcohol

Hate how your room looks? Start drinking. If you still can’t stand your surroundings half a fifth of Beefeaters deep, then you have (other) issues that should be fixed.

Step 2: Pinterest

I’m just throwing it out there, and I hate Pinterest. I’ve always been more of an emo Tumblr girl; however, Pinterest’s photo aggregation and curation has yet to be beaten. Take a look at other example apartments that suit your fancy, and the key things that always catch your eye. Can’t afford them? Great, me either. Back to step one.

Step 3: Make A List Of Things You Should Dispose Of Or Buy

After you’ve waffled back and forth between steps one and two for a few days (who am I kidding, weeks) then it’s time to do something about it. Toss most of the things from college you kept and make a list of necessary items with their estimated cost.

Step 4: Give Up

After you realize you’re just going to DIY, hack all of your existing Ikea items, go buy a Soda Stream, to make yourself feel better.

Step 5: Acceptance

Repeat steps one through four for the next few years. Replace the Soda Stream with other various household items as time passes and technology improves. Either rise to an elevated enough position so you can afford a stable apartment, or break down and buy a house. Hire an interior decorator and pretend the last few years never existed. Untag Facebook photos of parties held in your former apartments and threaten anyone who resists.

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Writer in NYC. To quote Dr. Seuss, "Being crazy isn't enough."

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