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Choosing the fastest line at a supermarket should, without a doubt, be categorized as an Olympic sport. It takes strength (both physical and emotional), stamina, and agility to stand behind a soccer mom with her four screaming brats and yet still be able to tell that this line will be shorter than the one to your right, where a woman on the shy side of ninety is buying nineteen boxes of adult diapers.
I’ll be honest, I always choose wrong and I always suffer for it. Sometimes it seems like a better idea to just walk your entire cart out the exit and risk the shoplifting arrest than stand for another minute in a line where the cashier doesn’t know any of the produce codes. Thankfully, some good folks at The New York Times talked to a experts who swear they’ve discovered a few secrets to getting in and out of the supermarket before you lose your mind.
Dan Meyer, Chief Academic Officer at Desmos, says that the first step might be something that feels completely wrong, but is actually smart: getting behind a shopper with a full cart. Due to the amount of time that each individual person and item takes, on average, to get through the line, getting behind a single person with more items can be faster than getting behind more people with fewer average items.
Another tip from Mr. Robert Samuel, founder of a New York-based company that actually stands in line for you, is to head to the left for potentially quicker service. This works because most people are right-handed and, apparently, that makes us veer naturally to the right. Basically, if you have an instinct about something in the supermarket, do the exact opposite of that to save yourself time. Mr. Samuel goes on to state that he prefers female cashiers because “they seem to be the most expedient at register transactions and processing.” Damn right. Women can scan your Top Ramen like nobody’s business. Remember that.
There are a few other tips provided that are basically common sense: older folks will take longer in lines, it’s faster if you face the bar codes toward the cashier (sounds like a lot of work, but that’s just me), and distract yourself. Chatting with someone in line next to you might keep you from obsessing over how long you’ve been waiting, says math and statistics professor Douglas Norton. That’s a good idea—share the pain of waiting with someone else. Misery loves company, right? When in doubt, suck it up and grab an extra box of brownie mix to reward yourself for surviving a Sunday evening line. Just my advice. .
[via New York Times]
Image via Shutterstock
My strategy – find the hottest cashier and go to her line, then fail to hit on her and walk away feeling shame and disappointment as I question why I couldn’t hit on the cashier, and why in the hell I even bought these damn vegetables knowing I won’t eat them.
For my “I’m a terrible human being” moment of the day, I just get behind young people that look like they have money. Far fewer coupons, paying by check, paying by food stamps, splitting the bill up multiple ways, confusion/arguments over the price of something. Just go ahead and swipe that credit card and let’s all be on our way.
The worst is getting stuck behind people who pay with coins/coupons. Drives me batshit.
Or in my city: food stamps. And then proceeds to scream for ten minutes about how they should be allowed to buy beer with them before admitting defeat and pulling out a crumpled wad of dollars and change. All while I’m kicking myself and saying I should have gone to Target.
If you want to avoid the slowest line, just don’t join the one I’ve chosen. Except the girl that unexpectedly hit on me a few weeks back. To you, I say “sup?” and may our paths cross again.
If she hit on you how did you not come up with a number, fam?
Livin that married life. She was my biggest ego boost in years. PGMarriedP
This needs a companion column on TSA lines
TSA Pre-check is the fastest.
Definitely agree about the old people. There is a 99.9% chance that old people will write a paper check for their purchase.
I just go when I get off work at the Bar or when I get paid on Thursday afternoon. That’s how all students do it, right?