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Diet Coke is a phenomenon that I am completely baffled by. To the Diet Coke fan, the drink is more powerful than any drug on the planet and come hell or high water, they need their fix on a daily basis. The Donald reportedly houses twelve cans PER DAY, which is both impressive and disgusting at the same damn time. I’ve seen people get ornery when they can’t get their paws on a 20-ounce bottle in a timely manner and have actually been told this exact phrase before: “Okay, I’ll go to brunch but I, like, NEED a Diet Coke before we do anything else today.”
I don’t think that this is as easy as stereotyping or sweeping an entire group of people under a rug. Diet Coke is unique in this way. There isn’t one particular type of person that drinks this wretched aspartame and artificially sweet mixture.
It’s a drink enjoyed by the masses – the young, old, fat, and skinny. Diet Coke is an anomaly- a drink that, much like a cockroach, simply will not die no matter what happens to the reputation of big bad soda.
It does not matter how many negative ads come about the effects of pop on the body. Dentists, health fanatics, and your annoying friend that only drinks water and the occasional kombucha can scream from on high about how horrible Diet Coke is – if you’re a loyalist to the Diet Coke crown, that information is going in one ear and out the other.
Marketing people at Coca-Cola recently introduced new flavors and long, skinny cans to entice the hoards of millennials who have pivoted to flavored sparkling water. But I have to think that even this lame strategy to get millennials back doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things. Once you get someone hooked on Diet Coke I don’t think they ever willingly drink anything else.
While I’ve read several times about how Diet Coke is hemorrhaging money (because of the aforementioned sparkling water craze) for the Coca-Cola brand and that aspartame has the potential to wreak all sorts of havoc on the human body, never have I seen a beverage persevere the way that Diet Coke has.
The Diet Coke drinker has no need for coffee, water, or any other beverage under the sun that you can think of. A Diet Coke drinker pledged their undying allegiance long ago, and I see it first hand every single day.
I know of at least two people in my office (and I’m sure there are some other closet Diet Coke fans in here as well whom I don’t know about) that can’t get up out of bed without the promise of a Diet Coke at some point in the first hour of consciousness.
The drink is to its consumers what the cigarette is to a smoker. It makes me wince to watch people slug down Diet Coke at 8 o’clock in the morning but the sad thing is I don’t think this is unique to my office. I have to think that this happening all over the country. This sort of thing just doesn’t happen with any other type of soda except Diet Coke.
What is Coca-Cola putting in this shit? Is it the aspartame? Is it that sweet caramel color that is so enticing when you pour it over ice into a glass?
The allegiance to Diet Coke in this country is unwavering and I can’t quite put my finger on why. Everyone knows “a Diet Coke person.” They can’t go two hours without one, and they might even have a stockpile in their cube next to the space heater and another one in their home garage in case of nuclear winter.
The lazy answer to all of this is that caffeine triggers pleasure receptors in the brain. Yeah, I guess. Coffee isn’t doing this to people and neither is Orange Juice. For now, all I’ve got is that no one is more addicted to a drink than a person who drinks Diet Coke. .
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jduda@grandex.co
The problem with Diet Coke comes from the “user”. They think a soda with the diet before it will help them stay fit, therefore they allow their soda choice to become a lifestyle choice (rather than something to accompany a meal like us normal folk). Before you know it their Diet Coke with dinner is a Diet Coke before bed then a Diet Coke as coffee then a Diet Coke before lunch and then with lunch and then as an afternoon pick me up then on the commute home then two with dinner and before you know if they have a fetish of water boarding people with Diet Coke and you’re entire fridge is full of Diet Coke and they leave you and the family for a Diet Coke delivery driver and then you think “what’s so great about this stuff” and the cycle starts with you
This was a very Nived-like comment. Well done.
He’s an inspiration to us all. The voice of a generation
Looks like I’ve basically outsourced my own job. Nicely done, fellas!…to add to this conversation, diet sodas are a sweet relief distraction to divert people from the fact that literally everything is stacked against you in life and that they are contributing to getting themselves one step closer to being trapped in the healthcare/Pharma profit cycle once they give themselves diabetes or dementia or stroke or cancer from drinking this poison all while funding the propagation of the soda company’s agenda to push more product via advertisements everywhere so they become caught in an ongoing echo chamber of bad decisions. Just remember, the political system in America is set up the same way as Coke and Pepsi’s business models: Same shitty ingredients, just different colored containers and corporate influences, both equally terrible for you lol
Shit that concluding “lol” gets me every time.
And they only sell the real stuff in Mexico, at a lower cost to boot. Just goes to show that American corporations are all in league to profit by directly destroying our health or profit from the result of its destruction.
Almost, he would’ve added how the people who have a majority share in Coca Cola stock make sure that that the bills trying to limit purchasing of the product get shut down. Thus growing their pockets so they can push even more addicting products down onto the masses, especially the poor, because they are more susceptible to marketing ploys and schemes.
The Russians could poison the diet coke factory and cripple the world’s supply of white women.
Also, forgot to mention: I used to drink a diet coke every now and then. Not every day, but probably a few times a week. Then, last year, my therapist, who holds a PhD in neuroscience, casually mentioned that diet coke wreaks havoc on your brain and that if I want a cola, to have a regular coke instead. The effects from the sugar in it are nowhere near as bad as the effects from all the chemicals in diet coke. I haven’t had a diet coke since and have cut my soda intake to MAYBE once a week.
Why would anyone have diet Coke when you can have diet dew?
Username checks out.
My wife’s dad drinks 2 2 liters a day of diet dew
Still hoping they come out with diet dew code red
Their new line of commercials basically admit, “yeah, it’s actually bad for you, but fuck it.”
Good morning everyone, my name is LegallyNotBlonde, and I am a “Diet Coke person.”
I am the person who says “Okay, I’ll go to brunch but I, like, NEED a Diet Coke before we do anything else today” and I don’t care what that says about me because I need Diet Coke like I need to breathe.
Why do you gotta put kombucha on blast like that fam?
I too am a bucha boy who felt personally targeted
Diet Dr Pepper or GTFO.
DP10 is vastly superior
My gf’s family exclusively drinks DP10, but it’s getting harder to find.
If you’re going to have a Coke, have a Coke, Diet Coke is for those in denial about their soda intake.
I’m with you. Own it. Certified regular coke girl.
Coke heavy all day
Coke diesel
Diet Coke gives you brain cancer. Nived, back me up on this one.
Everything gives you cancer nowadays.
reading this gave me cancer
My mom would give me Diet Coke when I was sick to my stomach as a kid. Suffice to say, the correlation of puking and Diet Coke has kept me from ever wanting it as an adult.
4/5 dentists would not recommend