This Guy Throwing A Surprise Wedding For His Wife Is The Worst Idea Ever

This Guy Throwing A Surprise Wedding For His Wife Is The Worst Idea Ever

Proposals, at this point, are as much a part of the smoke-and-mirror show that is getting married as actually walking down the aisle. Between the horror stories of proposals gone wrong and the pressure to spend three months pay on a ring, proposals are an undertaking not fit for the faint of heart. And weddings? From the save the dates to the invites to the guest list, my head wants to explode even thinking about what would go into just trying to get asses in seats let alone what they’re going to eat, dance to, and throw at me as I walk out with my bride on my arm.

But this guy. This fuckin’ guy. He can just do it all, can’t he?

Zach Baldwin proposed to his girlfriend, Catie Bossard, on September 16th in Vail, Colorado on a deck overlooking the Rocky Mountains in front of their family and friends. Romantic, right? Right. But just after she said yes to his proposal, he asked a second question: “Would you want to get married today? Everything is set up. Your dress, plans and everyone is here.”

Of course, this is a feel-good story. She said, “Let’s do it!” Over the course of a few hours, everything began to fall into place – the makeup, the hair, the dress. And just like that, at the drop of a hat, the two got married in an impromptu ceremony that Catie lauded.

I will never fully understand what was going on in Zach’s head but I am certain he knows me better than anyone in this world. I never wanted a big wedding. I never wanted to spend hours finding a “perfect dress.” I never wanted to make a guest list and think I left someone out. I never wanted to plan this “perfect wedding” that I never wanted. What I wanted was to marry my best friend. I wanted exactly what Zach gave me. Love. Friendship. A sense of peace when he’s around. Marriage is so much more than a wedding or party.

As someone who is normally quite critical of everything involving the act of getting married (engagement photos, wedding announcements, etc.), I’ll admit that this panned out beautifully for all parties involved.

But this could’ve easily gone downhill. Fast. From a guy’s perspective, imagine telling your girlfriend that you’re going to get married today. After the initial wave of happiness that overcomes her, you’re going to be hit with a slew of questions beginning with the phrase, “But what about..?”

The dress. She didn’t get to pick it out? She didn’t have it tailored to fit her body that’s transformed after months of pre-wedding starvation dieting? You get one shot at getting that right, and unless it’s a family heirloom that you can guilt her into loving, you’re up shit creek without a paddle.

The decorations. Are the flowers in the mason jars the right kind? What’s the wedding’s overlying aesthetic? Between the chairs, the table cloths, and the centerpieces, do you really have the guts and taste to put something together that will make your wife happy?

Literally anything else. If I chose the order of my girlfriend’s maid of honors, I’d muck that up ten times out of ten. Hell, I’d invite the wrong people altogether and live in fear of the people who got snubbed for the rest of my life. I’d serve a steak dinner when I was supposed to serve a lighter fair so everyone wouldn’t want to nap after dinner. I’d forget about minor details that I can’t even dream up.

So to Zach and Catie, I say this – Congratulations, you two. I, for one, am glad this worked. The photos? They’re beautiful. Other couples should aspire to look as happy as you did. See for yourself.

But to everyone else in the world who think this is remotely a good idea in any sense of the word? Think again. Weddings are for no one else but the bride, and taking the duties and responsibilities out of her hands on the biggest day of her (and your) life is a death sentence.

[via Huffington Post / Facebook]

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Will deFries (Twitter / Instagram) is a Senior Writer at Grandex and the world's foremost authority on Sunday Scaries (Twitter / Instagram). Email me at

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