Getting married comes with a ton of strings. Of course, there’s the financial burden, but once you tie in pets, shared assets, and the high rate of divorce, it’s often smart to take measures to protect yourself – unless, that is, you’re not banking on increasing your salary anytime in the next twenty years. With later marriages and couples splitting left and right, it’s no surprise that prenuptial agreements are on the rise. What is surprising is the reason behind the increase in hourly lawyers’ rates – millennials are now obsessed with protecting their future start-up ideas from their future ex-spouses.
That’s right, not only are we trying to protect our current start-ups, but the ones we haven’t even come up with yet. Oh, come on, it’s not that outrageous – that guy you matched with on Tinder who hit you up with a 1:36 A.M. “sup?” could totally be the next CEO of Uber. Honestly, considering half of the pitches I see on Shark Tank, I’d be more concerned about being protected from my husband’s failed attempt at creating a line of no-shake protein mix bottles, but hey, that’s just me. Apparently, we think our special snowflake ideas are so valuable that our spouses we found by swiping right on an app will encourage us to create the next Snapchat and then divorce us and leave our billion-dollar empire in shatters.
We’ve seen a lot of shit in 2016, but this honestly might be the worst of it so far. Everyone, take a moment, and go look in the mirror. Do you see a creative individual, uniquely poised for success, with a bright and billion-dollar future in the making? If so, you’re wrong. Realize that your your start-up dreams are DOA, and that you’ll most likely top out in middle management making a high five-figures after bonus. Don’t worry, though – once you finally get your student loans forgiven after 20 years of on-time payments, that net salary won’t be that pitiful at all. .
[via The Independent]