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Last night I sat down with my dinner in the living room and watched some action from the ACC/ Big Ten Challenge on the four letter sports network. I’ll be honest – late November college basketball doesn’t really move the needle for me.
It feels too early to be watching it and every team except for Duke is still figuring out playing rotations. It’s just not fun to watch right now. And I could probably write 2,000 words on the absurdity of officiating in college basketball because it’s downright atrocious, but I don’t think anyone is interested in that. It does bring me to an interesting point I’d like to make regarding frozen pizza, though.
Last night while watching what seemed like the fiftieth tv timeout of the evening during the Duke/Indiana game, a commercial came on for a new line of frozen pizza from Kraft.
From the jump I knew this commercial was off because I’ve made pizzas using Kraft ingredients and I’ve even bought the pesto margherita frozen pizza from Kraft before (its just O.K.) and I can tell you it looks nothing like what was pictured in that commercial.
In the ad, we see a dad and two dumbass kids in karate outfits crowded around a kitchen island enjoying pizza that the dad made. It of course looks fucking great in the commercial. Gooey cheese stretching from the wooden board it was made on and getting stretched as the dad pulls pieces off for the kids to enjoy.
Now I’m not saying that Kraft is a bad company. Kraft makes a wonderful array of cheeses and other dairy products that I use regularly, but I have no choice but to call bullshit on this commercial.
The thing with frozen pizzas is that they aren’t all that good. They’re decent at best. They get the job done when you don’t feel like shelling out thirty bucks for a large pie and garlic knots. But frozen pizzas aren’t blowing anyone’s mind.
We’ve seen this for years with marketing from DiGiorno, the premiere frozen pizza company that shoves commercials down our throats during just about every big sporting event.
In DiGiorno commercials there’s always a guy hosting a party with adults and he brings out a piping hot pie and his guests ask him where the delivery is from because it’s so fucking delicious.
DiGiorno touts new technology that allows you to make pan pizzas from home that taste just like the pizza you order from around the block. They get celebrities to endorse and everyone in these commercials has no clue that they’re eating frozen pizza.
The problem with these ads is that they aren’t based in reality. Look DiGiorno pizza isn’t bad. It’s fine. But let’s have honest marketing campaigns from these frozen pizza companies. Show a sad, single twenty something with a 12 pack of PBR in one hand and a DiGiorno in the other in line at checkout.
Show a college kid falling asleep on his couch hammered drunk with a completely black, charred pizza in the oven at 450 with the fire alarm in his apartment going off.
Hell, show me on a Monday night after work looking through my cabinets with absolutely nothing to eat and finding a frozen pizza in the very back of the freezer, shrugging and saying “Well…okay I can eat this.”
I just want some honesty. No one in their right mind is serving a frozen pizza to their children and there certainly aren’t people making DiGiorno or Kraft pizzas while they entertain guests. Cut the bullshit. Frozen pizza is for drunks, college kids, and violently single people..
Image via Youtube