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When you’re picking out your groomsmen and bridesmaids, everyone seems to have the same advice. You want the people who have “always been there for you,” who “accept you for everything you are,” and who “you can turn to when things get rough.” While my fiancé and I have been going through our lists of childhood, high school, and college friends and considering how badly they’ll hate us if they aren’t in the wedding, I realized that no one really fits that “perfect” friend description — except maybe if you count bacon, pizza, ice cream, or mac ‘n’ cheese.
I mean, I never had to take care of ranch dip when he got too drunk celebrating his Masters dissertation. I never had to make it up to my favorite cupcakes after I didn’t notice how much weight they lost. And who was mad at you for forgetting their birthday last year? It certainly wasn’t buffalo chicken dip. Seriously, guys, food is your real best friend, and here’s why.
Food Is Always There For You.
You can’t do brunch without bacon, and spending a drunken night without pizza is just unthinkable. Your family dinner wouldn’t be complete without an appetizer there, and what’s a date night without a little cheesecake after, amirite? Mashed potatoes and gravy greet you when you come home from work, and you wouldn’t watch your favorite Netflix series without including popcorn. You travel miles to spend all your holidays together, and you wouldn’t be caught dead at a dinner party without first making sure your special preparings looked on point before walking out the door. #squad
Food Doesn’t Judge.
Food was there for you when you put on a few extra pounds around the holidays and also started getting you back in shape with those New Year’s resolutions. And when the second week of January came around, mac ‘n’ cheese wasn’t mad at you for wanting him back. You can cheat a little on your diet with chocolate, and salad is never going to say anything about it. And remember that time you burned mom’s famous meatloaf recipe? It may have hurt, but she got over it and helped you learn from your mistakes. Yes, maybe you were a little embarrassed after that food poisoning incident, but chicken wings will still always be ready for you at the bar on game days.
Food Makes Everything Better.
Remember when fudge swirl ice cream got you through that horrible breakup? Or when that candy bar helped you make it through a 12-hour shift? And there are always some donuts and fresh coffee in the break room to cheer you up on rough mornings. There was that time you burned the first half of a batch of cookies, but cookie dough didn’t mind you blowing off the rest of the baking and devouring her instead. And think of all those outdoorsy things your significant other makes you do—none other than (miraculously) tasty, gluten-free granola bars are right there with you fighting the hangries away. That’s a marriage-saving friendship right there. .
Image via Shutterstock
Respond
As someone with no friends, its good to know Food will always be there for me.
Don’t forget booze
You obviously don’t have a dog
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