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Happy Monday! For those of you complaining about coming back to work after a four-day weekend, all I have to say to you is… shove it. I had to work on Friday, so I don’t want to hear you moan and groan this morning after you got to sleep in the day after Thanksgiving while I was holding down the fort at the office.
Even though I drew the short stick on Friday, I still had a decent holiday weekend. I stuffed myself with leftovers, finished my holiday shopping, and my beloved Patriots won. So all in all, a thumbs-up on the last few days…which is probably more than these people can say.
Insomniacs
If you follow me on Twitter (please), you know that I’ve recently had a pretty bad flare up of insomnia, where I sleep for a few hours, wake up for a few hours, and then get in a little more sleep before my alarm goes off. This was even true on Thanksgiving night, after I ate enough turkey to put me in a tryptophan coma until at least the first week of December. But it turns out that not only is this lack of sleep horrible for me physically, but apparently it can have an effect on my wallet too.
A recent paper by Williams College’s Matthew Gibson and the University of California at San Diego’s Jeffrey Shrader looked at the effect of sleep on individual earnings and found that “sleeping properly” (which they defined as getting the recommended seven to nine hours a night with as little distraction as possible) has a positive correlation to income. According to Gibson, “People who live in locations with higher hours of sleep, such as Huntsville, Ala., earn 5 percent more than people in locations with an hour less of sleep, such as Amarillo, Texas.” They attribute the difference in earnings to the influence of sleep on productivity and efficiency, which, in the long run, affect wages.
I wonder if this in enough to convince my boss that we really need to institute afternoon nap time in the office? [via New York Post]
The Cleveland Browns
Yes, the Cleveland Browns are now 0-12 after losing 27-13 to the Giants on Sunday. But that’s not that worst thing that happened to the NFL’s worst team this weekend. That prize is taken by the fact that the Browns got trolled by a team they don’t even play this season.
Atlanta Falcons wideout Taylor Gabriel scored two touchdowns in the team’s win over the Arizona Cardinals yesterday, and is averaging 80.5 yards and 1.25 touchdowns per game over the last month. The Falcons decided to “thank” the Browns, who released Gabriel in September, for their surprise impact player:
Way to kick a team when they are down, ATL. [via Twitter]
Speaking of Cleveland… Cleveland Cavaliers
You’re probs like “What? Didn’t they win on Sunday?” Yes, they did. But it was the kind of shitshow we generally don’t expect from Lebron and Co.
The Cavs trailed the 76ers (who are currently dead-last in the Eastern Conference) for the entire game until there was 9:22 left in the 4th, when a driving layup from Kyrie Irving finally gave them the lead. A huge quarter from Irving, coupled with a triple-double from James and good efforts in the final quarter from Kevin Love and Tristan Thompson, led the Cavs to a 112-108 win.
So, yes, they got the win…but they also missed their first 14 shots of the game, and are looking at slump from J.R. Smith, who shot 0 for 11 in Sunday’s game and is now 1 for 22 in his last two games, including 1 for 17 from 3-point range.
Get it together, guys. With the Browns doing this badly and the Indians losing The World Series, you’re all the city has left. [via Ohio.com]
California Lawyers
In most fields, it’s generally frowned upon to sleep with your clients. Conflict of interest and all that. But if you are an attorney in California, it may soon not only be frowned upon, it may get you kicked out of the bar.
Under current rules, lawyers in the state are prohibited “from coercing a client into sex or demanding sex in exchange for legal representation.” Now, the California State Bar Association, the country’s largest, is considering banning all sexual relations between lawyers and clients, except in cases where the personal relationship preceded the sexual one, saying the relationship between an attorney and a client is fundamentally unequal, so any sexual relationship between the two may be potentially coercive.
Of course, opponents of the ban have all kinds of legal-sounding arguments against it, such as this one from James Ham, a lawyer on Los Angeles County Bar Association’s ethics committee:
“Proponents of a complete ban cannot articulate why a lawyer should be disciplined for sexual relations with a mature, intelligent, consenting adult, in the absence of any quid pro quo, coercion, intimidation or undue influence.”
Or, in other non-lawyerly terms: “Dude, just let us sleep with our clients as long as everyone’s cool with it.” [via Business Insider]
College Football Coaches
We may have had “Black Friday” a few days ago, but it was “Black Sunday” in college football for coaches, as a buttload of them were fired. The list of those receiving a pink slip includes:
Nebraska special teams coordinator Bruce Read
Florida Atlantic University head coach Charlie Partridge
UCLA offensive coordinator Kennedy Polamalu
San Jose State head coach Ron Caragher
Nevada head coach Brian Polian
Not to mention the firing of Texas head coach Charlie Strong on Saturday. A few more coaches, including Oregon’s Mark Helfrich, Tennessee’s Butch Jones, and Texas A&Ms Kevin Sumlin, are the possible chopping block for this week, while others, such as Notre Dame’s Brian Kelly are “exploring their options.”
There is one coach who had a losing season whose job is safe: Texas Tech’s resident hottie/head coach Kliff Kingsbury. Despite a 5-7 season, the school’s AD, Kriby Hocutt, said that Kingsbury will remain at the school. On behalf of all of the ladies… phew. [via NBCSports] .
Image via Shutterstock
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Jenna Crowley
Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, documenting her love of all things cheese related, and hosting the new PGP podcast Don't Take It From Us. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at JennaLCrowley@gmail.com.
@JennaLCrowley
@donttakeitfromus
The college football season goes by way too fast. It makes me sad.
Give it 8 days. The bitch fest on Facebook will be on par with the election.
Strong had a $10.7MM buyout so he did okay this weekend. His assistants on the other hand…….
I’d like to throw Colin Kaepernick on the list. Played well but got absolutely lit up at the 1 yard line by the Miami defense which ultimately cost the 1-10 niners the game.
At least he STOOD in there and took the hit…
We should add Todd to the list.
I bet Charlie ends up back at Louisville in some capacity. We’re great at taking back coaches who left us for someone else, like an ex-girlfriend with low self esteem.
*affect wages.
So J, what do you have against Cleveland? Cle sports have been featured here like every week. I get it, the Browns deserve to make this column every Monday, but the Indians were 1 game from a World Series and the cavs are world champs….It’s the NBA, elite teams don’t start trying until the 4th Q, which is what happened here.
Indians blew a 3-1 lead….
Oh wow, just realized you’re a pats fan so you probably like the celtics/red sox too? I get the hate now, if so.