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Hello from (clap, clap, clap, clap), deep in the heart of Texas! No, seriously, I am DEEP in Texas, visiting friends who I am relatively sure can see Mexico from their house. But since I’ve done nothing for last 72 hours except eat, watch tv, and hold a cute snuggly baby, I had quite the fantastic weekend despite the fact that my beloved Patriots lost (again). But not everyone was quite as lucky as me this weekend, were they?
Offset
If you don’t follow rap gossip as closely as me, you may not know that Cardi B. and her husband/baby daddy Offset split up last week after a fourteen-month marriage. No specific reason has been given for the breakup, but one has to assume that Offset is mostly at fault, given his weekend mea-culpa during Cardi’s performance at Rolling Loud Festival in Los Angeles Saturday night.
The rapper crashed Cardi’s set bearing flowers and a cake reading, “TAKE ME BACK CARDI” (which you can see below) while proclaiming “I just want to tell you I’m sorry, bruh. In person. In front of the world.”
Thing is, Cardi was not having it and had Offset removed from the stage. Her facial expression pretty much says it all:
Rolling Loud says it had nothing to do with Offset interrupting Cardi B's set https://t.co/g00sSosBQ1 pic.twitter.com/A5Z5eSwY5o
— Complex (@Complex) December 16, 2018
Although she did take to Instagram after the debacle, asking fans to leave Offset alone…which was nice of her, given her utter and total rejection of his apology.
You know who else probably had a bad weekend? Whoever on Cardi’s road crew that allowed this to happen. I’m assuming they are now unemployed. [via CNN]
Joe Flacco
Football isn’t exactly a career in which you can count on your job being your job for very long. That’s the case for Ravens’ quarterback Joe Flacco with the added bonus of having to sit back and watch his replacement for the rest of the season.
Earlier this week, Baltimore coach John Harbaugh said that rookie Lamar Jackson, who has started for the last four weeks due to Flacco’s hip injury, would start again this week even though Flacco is healed. Then, on Sunday morning, it was reported that the Ravens plan to part ways with Flacco before next season, where the 34-year-old stood to make $18.5 million.
But before we feel too bad for ol’ Joe – there are plenty of teams in the market for a new QB, so I suspect he won’t be unemployed for long. But it will definitely suck for him to watch Jackson for the next few weeks. [via New York Post]
Shakira
Turns out those hips may lie…about paying taxes.
Late Friday, Spanish authorities charged Shakira with tax evasion, alleging that she didn’t pay more than $16 million in taxes between 2012 and 2014.
While the singer definitely lived in Spain during those years with her Spanish soccer player husband, she’s officially listed as a resident of The Bahamas for tax purposes, so whether she technically owes taxes in Spain is unclear. According to ENews, “Shakira addressed the Friday charges in a statement released through her representatives, denying she was a legal resident in Spain during those years. She also claimed authorities are using her “as a scapegoat” to scare other taxpayers.
You know what, Shakira? Whenever, Wherever… you live, you have to pay taxes. Sorry, I couldn’t resist. [via EOnline]
Stephen Miller
Normally, I leave political figures out of this column, but this one is too good not to include.
Trump aide Stephen Miller appeared on Face The Nation Sunday morning and viewers couldn’t help but notice a difference in his hairline:
Stephen Miller’s hair-raising rhetoric has gone to his head @FaceTheNation.https://t.co/1gr6KTYK4g pic.twitter.com/mysTyKJyQP
— New York Daily News (@NYDailyNews) December 16, 2018
And yes, Twitter exploded:
Instead of mocking Stephen Miller's spray-on hair, we should be working to stop his vile policies.
Whoa. Just saw the hair. We can multitask.
— Z (@surlyZ) December 16, 2018
be careful Stephen Miller pic.twitter.com/jdDiDLFXQV
— Sean Gentille (@seangentille) December 16, 2018
it is prophecized the world will end when stephen miller's fake hair fights john bolton's mustache to the death on the white house lawn
— m i t h (@ManInTheHoody) December 16, 2018
Folks, can you please stop making fun of Stephen Miller for his spray-on hair?
Think about how hard it is when you can’t see yourself in a mirror because you’re a soulless vampire.
Please, have some sympathy.
— Jules Suzdaltsev (@jules_su) December 16, 2018
Is it too late to nominate the person who did this to Stephen Miller & told him it looked good for Time’s person of the year? pic.twitter.com/b4WnbTBf4z
— joel tyler (@joeltyler_) December 16, 2018
There’s really nothing I can add to that. [via New York Daily News]
The Woman Behind This Guy
Worst seat at an NFL Game Today: The seat behind Santa Bear at Soldier Field (📷 by @ckilgore) pic.twitter.com/ICgqA2xB9p
— Darren Rovell (@darrenrovell) December 16, 2018
Exactly how much did you pay for those tickets? .
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Jenna Crowley
Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, documenting her love of all things cheese related, and hosting the new PGP podcast Don't Take It From Us. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at JennaLCrowley@gmail.com.
@JennaLCrowley
@donttakeitfromus
I would say throwing an INT in the red zone in the 4th quarter would qualify for this list.
HAHAHAHAHAHA SUCK IT TOM
RE: Cardi B and Offset.
Most beefs and breakups in hip-hop are purely for marketing and promotional value for whatever new album is coming out. Nothing to see here folks, just an extension of reality TV.
Stephan Miller is a prison meat thermometer lol
You still just can’t put the pats on this can you….