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Happy Monday, all! I stayed up way too late watching Sunday Night Football, so let me apologize up front if there are some non-sensical sentences in this week’s roundup. Also, my new kittens have decided they think it’s fun to walk across the laptop keyboard as I try to write/work/shop, so it’s entirely possible there are some random extra letters thrown in here. I’m pretty sure they added some things to the Old Navy friends and family sale order I made last night, so that should fun when it arrives. But while I was trying to “parent” two crazy kittens, some people actually did have a pretty crappy weekend. So let’s get to it, shall we?
Danny Amendola
I like any shade thrown at Danny Amendola since he left my beloved Patriots for the sunnier pastures of Miami. But I especially appreciate it when it’s thrown by a gorgeous woman in response to absolutely dog-like behavior.
Amendola had been dating former Miss Universe Olivia Culpo, but while she was in Australia doing a photo shoot for the upcoming Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, paparazzi caught Amendola canoodling with another woman. Culpo promptly dumped his ass and then shaded him on Insta with what was supposed to be his gift for his birthday on Friday:
Yes, that’s a $12,000 Rolex. Not only did Amendola blow a relationship with one of the hottest women in the world, but he also missed out on a pretty sweet b-day gift. Hope your moves are better on the field, Danny.
[via TMZ]
Carrie Scherschel
It seems like all of us have some kind of “smart” device strapped to our wrists these days. From the most basic of Fitbits to the fanciest of Apple watches, we are using these devices to do everything from track our steps to get our text messages. But for Ms. Scherschel, she got one thing she didn’t sign up for: a big ol’ burn.
The central Indiana woman was burned by her Samsung Gear Fit 2 Pro Watch, and she believes the burns are linked to the battery, saying, “it lined up perfectly with the two pegs underneath where the charging is.” She says that she alerted Samsung to the issue and was told the device could be “overcharging” (whatever the hell that means); she returned the device to them and is waiting for a refund, but decided to go public in the hopes that no one else would get burned (literally and figuratively) by Samsung.
You know, it’s probably just a good idea in general not to buy a watch from a company whose phones randomly just caught on fire at one point.
[via The Indy Channel]
John Stevens
Another week, another coach getting fired. This week’s victim comes from the NHL, with the Kings firing head coach John Stevens.
The Kings are 3-7-0 and in last place in the Pacific division of the Western Conference. They are tied with the Florida Panthers for the fewest points in the entire league, and are also last in the league in goals. While the team is not completely healthy — starting goalie Jonathan Quick is out indefinitely following knee surgery — blame has fallen on head coach Stevens. General manager Rob Blake said the following in a statement:
This is a critical time in our season and our results to date have fallen well below our expectations. With that in mind, this was a difficult decision but one we feel was necessary.
We have a great deal of respect and appreciation for John’s time with our organization. He was a key part of our past success, and we have tremendous gratitude for his many contributions.
An assistant with the team since 2010, Stevens was named head coach in April 2017 and took the team to the playoffs last season before they were beaten by Las Vegas in the first round. Seems a little harsh to fire a guy 10 games into the season following a playoff season, but all’s fair in love and war and hockey.
[via ESPN]
Shannon Beran
PGP’s own Miss Mackay regularly regales us with tales from the classroom, but she’s never been driven to the lengths of Miss Beran.
According to a statement from Rapides Parish Police Department, the Louisiana elementary school displayed “odd behavior during car rider pick up duty” and was “moving slowly and awkwardly,” causing the school resource officer to step in. What did he/she find when searching Beran’s classroom? A bag of wine… which was “partially consumed.”
Ms. Beran was arrested for possession of alcohol on public school property and was later released on a $500 bond. She couldn’t be reached for comment after her arrest, but of course, the internet (and one celeb) chimed in:
My thoughts? How sad that we pay teachers so little that they have to drink boxed wine.
[via People]
The Cleveland Browns
It’s bad enough to be the Cleveland Browns in general, but it’s worse when your special teams does this:
Woof..
Image via Wikimedia Commons
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Jenna Crowley
Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, documenting her love of all things cheese related, and hosting the new PGP podcast Don't Take It From Us. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at JennaLCrowley@gmail.com.
@JennaLCrowley
@donttakeitfromus
Honorary mention: the LSU football team. No one is beating Bama this year and I say this as someone who hates the SEC bias that dominates ESPN and college football in general.
I thought LSU would give them a run but they sure as hell didn’t. No one is gonna touch Bama. As much as I’d like Michigan to, they’ll get piledrived like everyone else.
I don’t think you understand the context of Amendola’s departure from NE. He didn’t want to leave.
I don’t care why you leave. Once you do, you’re dead to me.
Ts and Ps to Wine Teacher. I get it.
My arch nemesis in fantasy football, lost his match by .27 points, brutal
The first boy who ever broke my heart is a Browns fan. Always gives me satisfaction to see his team crash and burn.
6) Aaron Rodgers during yesterday’s game which was hyped up to be such showdown between Brady and him. Hurt to watch.