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It’s a holiday here in Boston today – Patriots’ Day. You probably just thought that was the name of the Mark Wahlberg movie about the Marathon Bombing, but it’s actually a legit holiday. Patriots’ Day observes the battles of Lexington and Concord, which were fought near Boston in 1775. Traditionally held on the third Monday of April, it is also Marathon Monday here in the city and a Red Sox home day game is almost always played. All of that being said…I am still at work today after cooking brunch for twenty people yesterday. Of course, the work day will cease around 11 a.m. for Red Sox/Marathon viewing, so I shouldn’t complain too much since I still had a better weekend than these people.
50 Cent
I’ve lost count of how many times 50 Cent has appeared in this column, but here he is yet again.
The rapper made news last week after he punched a woman at a show who grabbed his arm and pulled him off the stage. Despite the fact that the woman, Donnetta Derr, later come on stage at twerked, she apparently wasn’t fine: she went to the hospital the next day, and then hired attorney Warren Brown, who tells TMZ that Derr will be initiating a law suit against Fiddy, his co-performer The Lox, and Baltimore Soundstage, the show’s venue.
Pretty sure he’s going wind up paying more than fifty cents. [Via TMZ]
Donald Trump Jr.
Also making a repeat appearance here is the namesake of our Cheeto-in-Chief. Trump Jr. was pool side in Florida this weekend, and decided to wear a t-shirt to troll the “mainstream media.”
As you probably imagined, the internet decided to troll right back:
And the best one? A simple crop:
[Via Mashable]
Jamie Thorton
As I’ve said before, I’m not a huge fan of MMA. But even so, I recognized the viciousness of the kick that Sabina “Colombian Queen” Mazo delivered to Thorton during Legacy Fighting Alliance 9 in Shawnee, Oklahoma, on Friday.
Because I couldn’t describe it any better than this, to quote The Bleacher Report: after the kick, “Thorton folded up like a thrift-store accordion and hit the mat inside Firelake Arena like a rock.”
Thankfully, Thorton was able to leave the ring under her own power. But I’m thinking she spent the rest of the weekend in a little bit of pain. [Via Bleacher Report]
Avocado Lovers
PGP’s official deal closer, David Ruff, made headlines last week when he revealed that he squeezes his avocados instead of slicing them. But in bad news for Mr. Ruff, and all avocado lovers, new information says that you should probs cut back on your avo-intake for health reasons.
According to The Daily Mail, “Nutritionists say we should limit our intake of the Instagram darling to just half an avocado a day – and eating more than that could lead to weight gain.”
Yes, avocados contain so-called healthy fats, such as monounsaturated fatty acids. But even so, the average one has 22 grams of those fats, which is one third of the daily recommended allowance, as well as somewhere between 250 to 280 calories. Hence, the call for all of us basic bitches and dudes to cut back on our consumption.
Good luck trying to turn down that avo-toast at brunch, though. [Via The Daily Mail]
The Animals Of Easter
For some reason, Easter, more than any other holiday, causes people to put ridiculous headpieces on their pet – mainly dogs, but with a few exceptions. And while that may suck for them – it makes for a wonderful gallery for us to start on a Monday morning..
Image via Shutterstock
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Jenna Crowley
Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, documenting her love of all things cheese related, and hosting the new PGP podcast Don't Take It From Us. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at JennaLCrowley@gmail.com.
@JennaLCrowley
@donttakeitfromus
I am surprised DeFries didn’t put bunny ears on his dog for the pic…
Honorable mention: Kim Jong Un after his limp dick missile failed on one of North Korea’s biggest holidays?
With how things are going in the Korean Peninsula, he (and millions of other Koreans) might make the list within the next few weeks.
I respect Donnetta Derr’s ability to take a punch from 50 cent and still muster up the strength to get on stage and twerk.
I am not surprised at all that the girl who grabbed 50 cent is named Donetta Derr.
I bet I listen to more podcasts than this nutritionist, and I say that you should eat the fuck out of avocados. Lift weights, eat meat, vegetables and fats. Do business. Have fun.
I, of course, get no recognition for dying on the cross, going to hell and rising from the dead. Crucifixion, ya know… pretty bad! Kinda sucked, and I did it for your sins. Man, it’s like no one believes in me any more.
Don’t want to open up this can o’ worms too wide, but again, healthy fats do not make you fat.
Eating an avocado along with an entire box of Cheez-its (carbs) however, will turn you into a certified fat ass.
A couple of years ago, I was having plain toast with avocado and two hard boiled eggs for breakfast every day. Did this for six months until I got a blood test, which showed that my triglyceride levels were through the roof. When I told my doctor about my breakfasts, she nearly shat herself and told me that if I kept it up, my liver and gallbladder would become massive due to all the bile secretion to help deal with the excess fat.
Stopped eating eating said breakfasts and all went back to normal.
Moral of the story: yes there can be such a thing as too much healthy fat.
Your body was burning the toast (carbs) for energy instead of the fats because it will always choose the path of least resistance. Since your energy needs were fulfilled by the toast, your body had to store the fats, thus making your blood levels unhealthy. Solid point though for the carbs + fat issue
Yeah but I wasn’t the obese tub o’lard you’d think I was if you saw my triglyceride levels.
wat
FREE THE CLOTHED ANIMALS!
Man don’t know how DTII can ever show his face again after those sick burns
Give me avocados or (and?) give me death