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Over the weekend, a movie that nobody knew about was released to a handful of theaters across the US, and the result was an absolute dumpster fire. The movie is called United Passions, a movie about the long 111-year history of The Fédération Internationale de Football Association, or FIFA.
Who would have thought releasing a movie about FIFA during the largest scandal of the world’s soccer governing body’s history would be a good idea? None other than FIFA. Yes, they funded this movie themselves (SEE: with the dirty money used as bribes from corporations and countries). Anyways, United Passions stars Gerard Depardieu, Tim Roth and Sam Neill. The amount of recognizable stars in the movie is the same amount of stars it received by Metacritic, which was a whopping 1 star out of 100. As of June 8, it currently holds a 2.5/10 rating on IMDb, and a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes.
Before I say how much it has grossed, let’s look at the US box office sales of other sports movies:
Bend It Like Beckham: $3,541,719
Remember the Titans: $115,654,752
Seabiscuit: $120,277,854
Like Mike: $51,432,760
Thunderstruck: $587,211
United Passions raked in a whopping $607. Not million. Not thousand. Six hundred seven dollars, which equates to $60.70 per movie theater. A movie theater in Phoenix that debuted the film had a gross of $9. Literally one person bought a ticket. I’m assuming he didn’t stay through the entire movie. Even Thunderstruck, the movie about a kid stealing Kevin Durant’s talent, outperformed United Passions by 967 times. I’m an OKC native, and a Thunder fan, but even I hated every second of Thunderstruck.
With the millions of dollars FIFA rakes in a year in bribes, let’s hope there’s a sequel soon. I’ll take United Passions 2 or the US hosting the 2022. Your choice, FIFA..
[via Washington Post]
Image via Shutterstock
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@Trush21
@Trush21
Trush21
2022 is as good as ours. If anybody tries to stop us, fuck em, we’ll arrest them too.
‘Murica!
Nothing better than having a bunch of foreigners that dislike America to begin with come over here to wear scarves, paint their faces, and yell stupid repetitive chants in all the bars for a month straight!
It won’t be that bad. They better not try to use their dirty Monopoly money here, though.
Sounds like Eagles fans.
That’s less than 100 people. I would’ve thought there would be at least that many idiots who saw it not realizing that it was just a lengthy FIFA propaganda video
I’ve already got a “get up to speed boozing” plan for US World Cup 2022 when I’m 33, and have to figure this out with a kid