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Nobody knows less about dating than I do. At least that’s the general consensus of you, the Peej community. And that’s fine, and whether the jokes are in good fun or born of malice, it’s the joke that keeps on giving. And whether I truly know what a “date” is or is not, I do know this: I’ve gone on some great dates, some bad ones, and everything in between. I’ve gone on hot streaks like DiMaggio and cold streaks like Andy Stitzer, girls have come and gone and I road the wave where it took me.
And after a handful of serious girlfriends, some not-so-serious hookups, some time stuck in the FriendZone (wink wink), and a few moves from college, to Boston, to home, to New York, I’ve come across enough dating experience to write a manifesto, just like my main man PlaysWithSquirrels. And just like Eric Matthews, no matter how big the manifesto looks, there’s only one solid piece of advice you’ll really need. For PlaysWithSquirrels, it was “lose one friend, lose all friends, lose yourself.”
For me, my manifesto will simply read: “Just. Say. Yes.”
I truly believe that just saying “yes” is the best advice I could give to anyone stuck in a dating rut. Because if you’re in a rut, I guarantee you that you’ve been saying “no” a lot. And saying “no” manifests in a myriad of ways. Swiping left? That’s saying no. Not texting the girl whose number you got at the bar? That’s saying no. Not going out on a Friday night when your friends are all going out? That’s saying no.
We all get stuck in our bad habits, whether that be continuing to put my bookie’s kids through private school (fyi this is a cry for help, mom, please put me in Gamblers Anonymous), or taking a few days off from the gym and then realizing it has been weeks since you’ve been under a squat rack. But breaking bad dating habits is as easy as breaking a Trojan. All you have to do is just say “yes” to situations that might put yourself in the position to break your bad habits.
If you’re single, I bet that you’re on dating apps (but maybe not since every time I seem to bet I’m on the losing end so what the hell do I know), but if you’re on dating apps, I bet you tend to match with the same type of people over and over and over again. Because I get it, you’re attracted to who you’re attracted to. But if you keep striking out on the same type of pitch, you got to make the adjustment. If you’re only looking for a dude who’s over 6′ tall, and it’s not working out for you? Fuck it, try going out with a guy who struggles to meet the minimum height for the rides at Six Flags. Only interested in dating a blonde? Well, change it up, find a brunette. Or a red head!
Point is, I know we like what we like. If I lined up photos of all the girls I’ve dated, the theme of short brown-eyed brunettes would be apparent. But the girl I’m going steady with now? Taller blue-eyed blonde, because instead of writing her off as “not my type,” I gave it a shot and it turned out that she was perfect for me. Because dating successfully isn’t just finding someone that checks a few arbitrary boxes that you think need to be checked. We’re all complex individuals and you never know who you’re truly going to connect with until you really give it a shot.
And giving it a shot means saying yes to that second date, even when maybe date number one was a bit awkward. Giving it a shot means saying “fuck it” and swiping right on someone who maybe normally you wouldn’t. Giving it a shot means saying yes to your friends when they’re all going out and you really don’t want to for a number of bullshit reasons. Putting yourself in a position to be successful in dating means saying “yes” way more than saying “no.”
Except for butt stuff; you’re still allowed to say no to that. .
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Boston Max
Spending my retirement fund at Trader Joe's and trying to remember to check my mailbox semi-regularly
@BostonMaxG
@boston_maxg
How am I not surprised that ‘expanding your horizons’ meant going from brunette to blonde. I hoped it was going to be something deeper than hair color when I clicked
It did go deeper. Instead of women only looking for guys 6′ or taller, tap into the 5’10-5’11 market. Or don’t, because those 2″ are usually the difference between eternal happiness and absolute misery (get your head out of the gutter.)
Go deeper than that. I’m in the 5’9 market.
The thesis is not “expand your horizons;” the thesis is to be open to new things. How do you not see that
The title is quite literally “expanding my horizons…”
I did the title. I found some difficulty with this one.
So did the rest of us, Dave. So did the rest of us.
That’s a distinction without a difference right there.
You were previously writing off attractive women because they were blonde? I thought expanding horizons and saying yes was going to include being open to new activities for dates or something like that. Wow.
2018 is the year of the ass Max, it’s ass eatn szn. Get on board… say yes.
I shifted from dating 20 somethings that mainly didn’t have jobs or aspirations to early 30 somethings(I was 28 at the time.) 3rd date was my wife.
TL;DR don’t be shallow
Sick humble brag about dating a tall blonde. Congrats though fam
Made it a point to date guys in 2018 that weren’t my usual type. Has not worked out. Just solidified what I’m attracted to
Moved to a new city and I was given the advice to say yes to every new opportunity that comes my way at least once. I have connected with a lot of people I probably wouldn’t have in the past.
Expanding my horizons after my last breakup was going from short blondes to tall blondes. You show me a 5’10-6’2 blonde and I will melt into a puddle.
Congrats on the sex Bmax