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Sup fam. Happy Fourth of July Weekend. Since we all love food and getting drunk, what better way to prepare than by breaking down the best foods to eat on America’s Birthday. We are all disgusting pigs and I love each and every one of you. I hope to eat everything on this list in very large quantities while sitting by a body of water getting sunburnt. What’s a summer body anyways?
Any Form of Meat Skewer
Literally just meat with veggies on a stick. Easy and delicious. Perfect for a grill. Also, is it just me or do these seem relatively healthy? You’re welcome #fitchicks of America.
Chicken Wings
What is the 4th of July without some messy chicken wings? If you leave a party and you’re not dripping BBQ or buffalo sauce all over your shirt you are doing something wrong. Even though I am usually Team Boneless, if I am at a BBQ, I want to burn off my fingers eating wings straight off of the grill. Or if you are boring and friendless just go to Hooters; I’m sure they’ll be open.
Burgers
Obvious, I know. But so delicious you really can’t go wrong. Maybe throw some bacon on that bad boy. Or some avocado. Or maybe stuff them with cheese so when you bite into them the cheese just oozes everywhere and drips down your face as you eat it and your hands are just covered in grease and cheese…. This is turning into Burger Porn, sorry.
Pulled Pork Sandwiches
You can make these in a crock pot so like, easy as hell and super delicious. Also very messy but I am here for it. I am actually making these for my own 4th of July Extravaganza and I will be holding a sandwich in one hand and holding a Budweiser America beer in the other hand for a good portion of the day. Whatever.
Potato Salad
I am an avid mayo hater but I love the shit out of some potato salad. Loaded baked potato salad to be exact. Just in case potatoes smothered in mayo isn’t enough for you fatass grease monkeys you can add cheese and bacon. We are disgusting. No wonder everyone hates us.
Macaroni and Cheese
Pasta covered in a shitload of cheese. Doesn’t get more American than that. Carbs on carbs on carbs on carbs. We are the United Carb States of America, and I am damn proud. Bury me in macaroni and cheese. Please.
Pie
If you aren’t eating some form of fruit pie this weekend, I am sorry for you. Pie is my favorite dessert ever. I am planning on making a basic AF berry pie with the top crust lookin’ like a flag- please pray to the pie gods for me. I am basically Lauren Conrad.
Hot Dogs
Ugh, I know these are so gross if you actually think about what they are made out of, but FUCK they are good. Maybe wrap some dogs up in bacon before grilling them if you want to be fancy and disgusting. Or better yet, CHILI CHEESE DOGS. Hell Yeah Fuckin’ Right. Going to Sonic after work now. Those coneys are the shit.
Any and All Dips
My favorite drunk food of all time is any form of chips and dip. Queso, guacamole, ranch, salsa, 7 layer, French onion, pimento cheese- the list can go on forever. There is nothing better than sitting around wasted just dipping some chips into some dip and shoveling them into your mouth. Sign. Me. Up.
Jell-O Shots
I mean, these aren’t really a food but you eat them and they might get you drunk and they are fun to pass around. ‘Merica.
What’s missing from this list? Coleslaw. Because it’s fucking disgusting. You’re welcome. You won’t miss it..
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prob the greatest thing i have ever seen thank you
Started working at home! It is by far the best job I have ever had. I just recently purchased a Brand new BMW since getting a check for $25470 this 8-week past. I began this 6 months ago and I am now bringing home at least $95 dollar per hour. I work through this Website. Go here… http://buzzfeedreport.tk/
Cole slaw on a pulled pork sammie is the GOAT.
It’s a must
Points for referring to it as a sammie
I just want to fire up a grill right now in the worst way.
Aggressive title. Dig it.
48-hour sous vide pulled pork sliders with Shambles’ Secret Sauce, ghost pepper & gruyere mac and cheese, strictly too much whiskey, and mini apple pies with woven tops if I can pull it off. My snap game is about to reach new heights of decadence and debauchery
I like the sound of that.
Probably why 25% of my friends keep following me on snapchat/Instagram tbh
get a twitter
Nice dig at Johnny D with the Hooters comment.
ahhahhaha completely unintentional sry Duda
No beer? Get outta here, commie.
If there was a way to turn beer into a solid edible “food,” trust me, we would have found it already.
Beer is a food
Key word there being “solid.”
Tomato soup is a food and that shit is a liquid #lawyered.
…Touché.
Beer brats
You want to be covered in Mac & Cheese?
Sup?
“Bury me in macaroni and cheese. Please.”
I think I just fell in love.