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There’s a certain reluctance that becomes a part of one’s persona when they are traveling abroad in Europe. There’s a lot of second guessing.
“This restaurant has great reviews but I’m not sure this is real Italy, you know what I’m saying?”
“Should we go to the Trevi at night or during the day?”
“Is The Vatican tour really worth going on?”
“How do I order at this vineyard without sounding like a stupid American?”
I struggled to be my usual, confident self while I was in Italy last month because I had never been there before. I think that’s pretty par for the course. You’ve got to be sure of yourself otherwise you’re going to get bogged down. Slowly but surely I acclimated myself to everything that Italy had to offer, though.
I learned how to order an espresso at the counter in Italian (and never, under any circumstances, asked for a cappuccino past 11:00 a.m.). I started using a bidet. I even found myself saying “Ciao” to the people I was traveling with (even though the rest of my sentences were in English) like I was goddamn Carrie in Sex and the City. I started to fall in love with the idea of living in Italy.
In the back of my mind, however, was a little voice reminding me that this wasn’t real life. “This is how they live, John. Not how you live. Remember that because you have to go home soon.”
I spent two weeks in Italy, and towards the end of it, I really started to believe that I liked it better over across the pond than I did in America.
We romanticize European cities here in the states. I’m not sure why that is because if I’m looking at this objectively Europeans do not live as well as Americans. As much as I loved Italy, I was really happy when my feet were back on American soil and I was able to eat Chick-fil-A.
The scenery in quaint villages across Italy will make you second guess what the hell it is you’re doing still living in America. But at the end of the day, there’s just a lot that Europeans live without.
Showering daily is not a priority for most. I like to take two showers a day so that is simply something I cannot abide.
I stayed in several Airbnbs throughout Italy and they do have showers but it’s more of a glorified sink. There’s usually a detachable shower head and a small tub with no curtain. No curtain. You read that right. Which is why I think that showering isn’t on the top of the to-do list for most Italians.
Every morning when I would get up, I would have to wedge myself into these small showers and soap myself up. By the end of my trip, I was yearning for the comfort of my large, oversized sink and shower.
The cabs and rental cars that I used had zero leg room. You want to talk about economy size and traveling light? Look no further than Italy. Those people drive fucking clown cars and they’re totally content with them. As a person who grew up riding around in SUVs that got ten miles to the gallon and currently drives a boat (also known as a 2008 Chevrolet Impala) this was a bit of a culture shock.
And let us not forget about food. Yes, Italians are known for their opulent palettes. Italy boasts some of the best food in the world. But for all of that hullabaloo (and it’s really great, don’t get me wrong) I have to say that they simply don’t eat like we do.
Breakfast consists of a piece of toast, some prosciutto with melon, and maybe a scone or something. I like a light breakfast sometimes but not every morning.
Eggs aren’t something that get ordered very often and asking for an “American” coffee will get you a side eye from waiters. All shops shut down around 2:00 p.m. so if you want lunch (which I’m not entirely certain Italians even engage in), you have to do it before then.
Eating legitimate meals is saved for the evening around 7 or 8:00 p.m. which, if you’re not on vacation like I was, is an absurd time to be eating dinner.
Four or five courses with as much wine as you can drink. Don’t ask for aqua naturale, though because it’s akin to asking if you can fuck someone’s wife.
Okay, so you get the point. Obviously, Italy isn’t America. And it’s no secret that we live in excess here.
But is that really such a bad thing? Europeans are a small people. Tiny cars. Tiny houses. Tiny servings. People see pictures of Europeans sipping coffee on tiny streets at tiny tables overlooking ancient monuments in Paris and Rome and think “Wow, look how cultured they are.” Italy, and Europe, in general, is a great area of the world to visit. But when you really get down to brass tacks it’s not somewhere I could ever live.
Europe isn’t classier or more culturally vibrant than America. It’s simply different and sometimes different can be confused for being better.
Keep that in mind when you’re looking at some douchebag’s Instagram account (i.e., me) at his Italian villa overlooking Tuscany. He may be sipping wine on a hillside but unlike you, he doesn’t have a high-pressure showerhead or the ability to plug multiple electronics into a wall without shorting out an entire block of homes. .
Respond
jduda@grandex.co
There’s a reason that the US has the highest standard of living of any nation in history. God bless this fucking country, from sea to shining sea.
HELL. YES.
I’ve got my FIRST check total of $4k for a week, pretty cool. working from home saves money in several ways.I love this. I’ve recently started taking the steps to build my freelance Job career so that I can work from home.
here is i started….. Click Here And Start Work
Good luck
This make’s me want to drink.
Source? General consensus amongst every other news source says it a Nordic country.
I’m just going to keep posting these images as response because all the commies hating on America don’t deserve a real response.
Actually on second thought, and because I’m bored at work, wanted to (semi seriously) address the Nordic country thing:
All the polls may say one thing. But when my family decided to immigrate to America from the former Soviet Union 25 years ago, we didn’t go to fucking Finland or Norway. We came to America because we know how shitty socialism is, even under the guise of all that Nordic country bs.
Bill, we’ve had our differences, but your reasonable and unreasonable love for America has me singing a different tune. If you’re ever in Houston, let’s get a drink and discuss American supremacy
Sounds great, bro. Nothing makes me appreciate America more than hearing about how my dad had to stand in line in subzero temps at 4 am to get food for baby Bill Nye or how my mom had to borrow money from my grandma in order to pay for my pre-K because the government didn’t have the ability to pay her (a doctor) a salary for months at a time.
I’m probably the most patriotic person in San Francisco.
See, it’s stories like that that make me not understand the protagonists from The Americans at all. Like, there’s no one out there that would be Soviet era Russia over the States.
You got hooked up pretty well if you worked for the KGB, but all the other peons suffered
I’ll be sure to remember that you’re probably the most patriotic person in San Francisco next time I visit family members buried at the Golden Gate National Cemetery to place flags. It’s never been a contest and it certainly isn’t now.
1. Golden Gate National Cemetery isn’t in San Francisco, but 10 miles south.
2. Take a fucking joke.
1. As if I didn’t know where it’s located, but I’m glad you could find it on Google.
2. Finns don’t take jokes about being shitty socialists, we’re the OG commie killers.
Nordic countries are capitalist and in no way socialist by real definitions of the word though?
Of course you didn’t goto “fucking Finland” because the Finns still want nothing to do with former Bloc counties and Russia after the Soviet clowndicks invaded their homelands without provocation in the Winter War during WWII. You want to criticize socialism, no problem by me, but you can hardly draw a comparison between Nordic “socialism” and the corrupt and merciless regimes of the Soviet Union.
Socialism inevitably leads to communism. Just look at Europe now. I’d even argue that the socialist line of thinking even got them into the crisis they are experiencing meow. Hell, look at Venezuela. People are literally dying in the streets. Look at the progression from Europe 25 years ago to now. Name one place we’re socialism actually worked that’s NOT some fuckin Bedouin tribe.
It’s Friday though and I’m still at work so I might just be crabby. Sorry.
I’d really have to know your definition of “socialism” if you think that Europe is a prime example of it. Social democracy =/= socialism.
Venezuela’s a shit hole, and it is certainly a socialist shit hole. Real, actual socialism inevitably leads to authoritarianism, which is what they experienced.
Socialism in Canada is working.
I know several people from Nordic countries. They all prefer the USA
Norway has a lot of cool stuff. Gun ranges aren’t one of them. My Norwegian friends rather enjoy coming to blast clays.
Making up your own standard of living index and putting the US at the top, classic American exceptionalism. Bill Nye really is fake news these days.
Unless it’s serving a no-knock warrant and SWAT pops your dog.
Sorry about Bernie sanders losing
^
Swing and a miss.
Found the Communist.
That cuts deep bro, I’ve been preparing to fight the commies ever since I watched the documentary “Red Dawn.”
Of course you would hate the standard of living in the US, you’re homeless.
Get outta here with that negativity
The lack of open container laws in Europe is pretty clutch for drunks on the go.
I just moved to New Orleans and took care of that issue. USA is definitively superior
I live in Indianapolis where we suspended the open container law when the Super Bowl was here. Haven’t reinstated it because we like to party.
I loved this fact during the Big Ten Champ Game
Go Indiana!
What part of the city you live in?
Downtown. I moved back from Atlanta recently, so Castleton, Broad Ripple and the likes just don’t do it for me anymore.
Definitely my favorite thing about Indy when I moved here!
That’s why we’re a super power and they’re not. Because we live in mansions and drive pick up trucks.
We live a 600 sq. foot apartments and take public transit to work, fuck you talkin’ bout.
Apparently everyone else knows but you
Yeah, but in this city, there’s a lot of cool places for me to get drunk with my friends. It’s pretty chill.
*goes to europe once*
From what I’ve noticed Europeans seem to be more content with what they have, which accounts for the reputation they have for being “generally happier.” Doesn’t mean I want to settle for their way of life though. Stay hungry.
i hate how they don’t put ice in drinks!!
I feel like that’s something a serial killer would do yet it’s a standard practice over there
and it’s not like the drinks are cold, which then it would be slightly more forgivable. NO they are room temp or warmer. i like my ice!
Not being able to sit down in the shower when I wake up with a crippling hangover on Sunday mornings sounds like hell on earth.
Europe is still pretty cool. I think American’s in general would be a lot better if they traveled outside of the US more often. That being said, Europe:
No fatties, at all. You see a fat person, they’re America. Everyone rips cigs, handrolling cigs so in rn. Awesome public transportation, so much better than the states. Awful customer service, people always ask if I enjoy coming to Europe bc I won’t have to tip–I’d drop 30% on every meal if I could get decent service in Europe, it’s awwwwful.
Nightlife is different, obviously fashion is much different. Hollister and Adidas all the rage apparently.
Currently in Zurich. The cigs inside movement is on the up and up.
Agreed. Spent two weeks traveling around Europe. It was nice, but definitely missed things about the US. Namely a normal sized meal, ice in my drinks, and decent accommodations (like AC). One thing I did notice is that really anywhere in Western Europe, the countryside is much more picturesque than America. The old shit is just cooler and more old.
“The scenery in quaint villages across Italy will make you second guess what the hell it is you’re doing still living in America. But at the end of the day, there’s just a lot that Europeans live without”. Absolutely fucking nailed it Duda.
I lived in Europe for 2 years and my Instagram has seriously suffered since coming home but the feeling of lying in bed with a flat sheet separating me from my duvet and a nice glass of ice water while surrounded by AC is the dream.
But travel is cheap af there -they’ve got that going for them.
I was in London and I felt like the British would be sophisticated and intelligent and honestly most of them were just trash. Like how I imagine Florida would be if I ever bothered to visit. Europeans just travel more and know more languages which in no way translates to class and sophistication.
Well of course England is trash. People started a war to get away from that place.
Technically we came here to start our own party and kicked England out when they kept trying to tell us what to do, but I get your point.
(If you’re a fan of Vietnamese food and find yourself on Montrose, check out Les Bag’et. Had lunch there for the first time and it’s incredible.)
Thanks for the hot tip. Might check it out tomorrow.
Also, got an appointment at Roosters at 930 tomorrow. Is that too early to have a haircut beer?
Look at you, living my best life.
I see that you’ve been to London’s east end