Dad Drafts Ridiculous Contract Before Letting His Kids Get A Dog

To whom much is given, much is expected. Trust me, I know. As a kid, my sister and I convinced my mom that getting a dog was a good idea. “We’ll take care of him,” we pleaded. “You won’t even know he’s around!” And not to call out two children who didn’t know any better, but we were blatant liars. Taking care of a dog is like taking care of a kid, just a little less expensive and a little more fun (I assume, because dogs are awesome and kids are the worst).

One man, rjohnstone13, took to Reddit to show the process he had to go through in order to allow his kids to get a dog. I truly cannot tell whether rjohnstone13 hate dogs, hates his kids, or hates both. But either way, the contract he drafted and made them sign is remarkable, incredibly detailed, and shows he doesn’t fuck around – especially when it comes to man’s best friend.


This is the type of dad who makes his kids stay after practice and do extra wind sprints. He drinks from the hose when his wife is standing on the porch with a tray of freshly-made Arnie Palmies. He makes his kid watch game tape of his pee-wee games.

But most of all? This dad is going to love this dog. You know the contract is just all smoke and mirrors, and deep down he’s going to scratch this thing’s stomach once he puts the kids to bed. By drafting a contract that essentially relieves himself of all responsibility for the dog, he’s assuming more responsibility for this thing than these kids even realize.

The best part of all of this? The kids signed, and they got their dog.

Hs name is Kershaw and has a Dodgers collar, so yeah, this dad is in love.

[via Reddit]

Image via Imgur

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Will deFries (Twitter / Instagram) is a Senior Editor at Grandex and the world's foremost authority on Sunday Scaries (Twitter / Instagram).

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