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King Burrito Supreme reigns… Supreme. Taco Bell was voted ‘Best Mexican Restaurant in America’ in the highly respected Harris Poll. If you work in brand or consumer marketing, you know that the Harris Poll is gospel. This is a direct line to the needs, wants and desires of the ever-gluttonous American consumer.
Also, in case you were wondering how fat Americans are, Krispy Kreme was voted ‘Best Coffee Shop’ in the country.
I am not upset that Taco Bell was voted as the grandest Mexican joint in the US of A. If you’re upset about this, you need to unfuck yourself because there is no greater restaurant chain in America than Taco Bell. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve been served subpar fajitas and syrupy margaritas at a shitty sit down Mexican chain restaurant.
You know what I’ve never been disappointed in? Taco Bell. I know exactly what I’m getting every time. It’s going to be delicious, beefy, crispy, shame-inducing and make me feel like shit for the rest of the day, but for those 15-20 minutes of processed bliss, my day is perfect.
Also, there are Taco Bells everywhere and they’re all great. The Taco Bell I go to on the Strip in Vegas on my way to the airport is exactly the same quality (albeit with much less pizzazz) as the one I go to on Cleaver II Boulevard in Kansas City. Although, I highly recommend the T-Bell flagship store in Vegas. What an experience that is. That’s like hungover Disney World.
So, keep your small plates and tapas out of my face. I love a good, dingy, dimly lit, greasy spoon Mexican joint. What I love more than that is the bright fluorescent backlit sign and a minimum wage employee confirming that my screen is correct and that yes, I do in fact want a Chalupa supreme meal, mini beefy quesadilla, spicy potato soft taco, Cool Ranch Doritos locos taco supreme, Cheesy Gordita Crunch, and all the damn hot sauce you got in that joint.
There really is nothing better than eating $12 worth of this incredible sustenance and then hating yourself for it for the next 8-12 hours.
Crown the king and bow before him. Taco Bell rightfully claims this throne. .
Respond
Brian McGannon
What do I love? I love happy hour, a good golf tan, and getting moderately drunk during dinner.
@BrianMcGannon
@brianmcgannon
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Taco Bell just has an authenticity that can’t be matched outside of Mexico.
Nor outside the bathroom.
live mas
much like how we culturally appropriated the drug trade, we did the same dirty deed to the taco and pretty much everything else in our culture but worse because we corporatized it. Now we are only left with false options that act as freedom of choice in a confined system where the only chore is to shut your god damn mouths, pay your mother fucking bills, and keep digging your ass to work until you die…Taco Bell will become the new form of retirement if you catch my hot sauce or whatever lol
these typos and terrible sentence structures were brought to you by Moe’s
where my taco villa heads at
I love your writing, but this is a trash take. Chipotle’s the best Mexican chain, but a hole in the wall in a border state blows any chain out of the water
The worst thing Taco Bell has ever done was allegedly use trace amounts of horse meat in their beef in the 90s. The worst thing Chipotle has ever done to me was expose me to e. Coli multiple times.
Brian’s right, guys. Those horses that lose in the Kentucky Derby and Triple Crown need to go somewhere lol
Don’t you live in Texas though? As someone who also lives in a border state, I feel like you’re not taking advantage of it by eating chain Mexican food (with the exception of lunch on a workday).
He lives in KC, don’t you dare try to Brian from us!!
Take*
My bad, though now I see how he can accept Taco Bell. I still disagree, but I respect the opinion
This is the propaganda Taco Bell needs to rally the troops for the great franchise wars.
This is America
The spicy potato taco is *legit* fucking delicious.
Taco Bell, I’m really happy for you, I’mma let you finish, but Taco Cabana has the best Mexican food of all time
If you hate Taco Bell you hate America
Rosa’s. That is all.
I didn’t know other people ate them! I got called spuds in college cause I’d always get 2 of them along with my normal order