Aside from having a kick-ass name belonging in the elite collection of late-90s/early-2000s baseball players that hold a special place in my heart, Bobby Bonilla (“bo-knee-ya” for all you uneducated baseball greenhorns) was actually pretty talented as a switch-hitting utility…Read More »
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Tom Brady’s Country Club Membership In Jeopardy Because He’s Too Awesome
On the surface, Tom Brady has it all: four Super Bowl rings, two MVPs, ten Pro Bowl appearances, an AP Male Athlete Of The Year Award, a biscuit of a supermodel wife, and a jawline so chiseled that I could…Read More »
Thousands Of French Mud Racers Come Down With Severe Mud Butt
It happens almost every weekend. One of my asshole friends posts pictures from the Tough Mudder, Warrior Dash, Spartan Race, or similar event that they participated in that day, and I feel like a lazy fat-ass because I “only” went…Read More »
Eighteenth Century America Drank Way More Cold Ones Than We Do
For all the film portrayals like The Hangover and Superbad that portray modern America as a wasteland full of worthless alcoholics, it’s time to get the facts straight. The Atlantic is reporting that during the post-Declaration 1700s and early 1800s, the average American drank…Read More »
PGA Tour Pros Are Fighting Over Drake On Twitter
We’re in quite the era for golf. The young guns are out there making noise, Tiger is single and probably on a next level tear, and we’re in the eye of a raging storm that I call Hurricane Spieth. Great…Read More »
America’s Favorite Lefty Phil Mickelson Allegedly Linked To Illegal Gambling Case
Pro golf icon Phil Mickelson is apparently in hot water for involvement in a money laundering scandal, per an ESPN report. An acquaintance of his, former sports betting handicapper Gregory Silveira, pled guilty last week to putting $2.75 million of…Read More »
In Case You Missed CNN’s Very Poor Weekend
I hate to break it to you degenerates, but if you were hoping to bring home the gold for “Biggest Fuck-Up” over the weekend, you’ll just have to try again next weekend. CNN spent its weekend doing CNN things and…Read More »
Top Gun 2 Is Happening With Tom Cruise
When people ask me what my favorite movie is, my usual response is “The Shawshank Redemption.” I mean, it’s the perfect story of friendship, hope and salvation; it’s a socially acceptable choice that garners respect. But, if I’m truthful, the…Read More »
Ford Will Now Let You Rent Out Your New Car To Pay Off Car Loans
Buying a new car is a horrifying ordeal. Not only does it signal progression in real human adulthood, it burdens you with debt. It’s also never the dream car you thought you’d buy out of college when you were 14.…Read More »
Top-Tier Music Producer Blew All His Money And A Ton Of Coke
Scott Storch, the master behind mid-2000s smash hits like 50 Cent’s “Just a Lil Bit,” Candy Shop,” Chris Brown’s “Run It,” and Justin Timberlake’s “Cry Me a River,” is now nearing rock bottom after mismanaging the several millions of dollars. TMZ…Read More »
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