If anyone listened to “Serial” and thought that Sarah Koenig sounded a little bit in love with Adnan, well, you’re not alone.

WHAT is going here, and WHY is this guy allowed to throw knives at a real life human being? He’s terrible at it. This is a painful watch, because you really think there’s a good chance he catches ponytail’s jugular and spills his blood out all over the floor. He does clip his finger (1:17), he does nearly clip another (1:30), and he does nearly ends his life with a knife through the brain (3:18).

This really is a job for Bert Macklin.

RIP Stu. You really were as cool as the other side of the pillow.

You have to stop what you’re doing right now and watch this.

Happy New Year.

Goosebumps or a hate boner. Your pick, really.

Shit’s nicer than anything you’ll ever poop in.

Worst night of the year.

You are a better man than I.