Wake up and drive to the gym. Get in some light cardio before hitting chest, back, and abs. Wake up and drive to brunch. Get in a Bloody Mary before ordering heavy appetizers and a pitcher of mimosas. Hit the…Read More »
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Your Weekend Back On Campus: An Itinerary
Thursday 4:00pm: Receive “Let’s go to back this weekend” text from friend. 4:01pm: Respond “FUCK. YES.” 4:02-5:00pm: Get zero work done and look at Facebook pictures from sophomore year. 5:30-9:00pm: Eat. Workout. Do grown up stuff. 10:00pm: You’re too excited…Read More »
20 Reasons You Suck At Being An Adult
Maybe you have a 401k. Maybe it’s an IRA. Either way, you don’t know how it works, you’ve never checked it, and you don’t care. “Buying groceries” consists of loading up on perishable foods that you’ll fail to eat on…Read More »
A Tradition Unlike Any Other: Masters Week
Hello, friends. Welcome to the best week of the sports year: Masters week. Five days of legend-making golf. The grass at Augusta looks greener than ever, and Jim Nantz’s silky smooth voice takes you away to Amen Corner as the…Read More »
9 Things To Do In The Year After Graduation
1. Get Your Shit Together Yes, this is the most generic piece of advice anyone can give. Seriously, though, get your shit together. You can’t go out five nights a week anymore. If you rage like you did while you…Read More »
How Was Hooters?
No matter what part of the country you’re from, your experience at the world’s premiere breastaurant will probably involve some of the following: 1) The Improper Friend Who Makes It Weird Not sure what this guy’s deal is. He probably…Read More »
Bracketology Around the Office
The Sherpa This guy was once deep in the sports betting game. Backroom deals, house markers, hundreds of thousands of dollars bet on college basketball. He earned his bankroll by laying a $20 bet on George Mason to make the…Read More »
Your Sunday: An Itinerary
Morning 7:00-8:00 AM: Drift in and out of sleep until finally waking up. 8:01 AM: Pray that you’ve put Tylenol and a glass of water next to your bed. 8:02 AM: You didn’t. 8:03 AM: Think about going to the…Read More »
6 Worst Things About A Job Search
One of the absolute worst parts about being out of graduating from college is the job search. You’re finally out of school, looking for a new job because your current one sucks, or because you got fired. But seriously, you…Read More »
Worst Office Days
The Monday after Vacation: Look at you. You slaved away for months at your entry-level job, and you finally got some paid vacation days. After setting your Outlook out of office message and leaving a note on the whiteboard outside…Read More »
