Caffeine Fiend Astronaut Refuses To Go To Space Without Coffee, Builds Zero Gravity Espresso Machine For Herself

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I’ll be the first to admit that, besides my significant other, coffee is the one thing that gets me out of bed in the morning. Get to work on time? Not without coffee. Actually shave both legs? Not without coffee. Give bosses and fellow employees anything but resting bitch face before 11 AM? Not without coffee.

It seems astronaut Samantha Cristoforetti is with me on this and wouldn’t head up to her space station without her daily cup o’Joe. How does a coffee pot even work in space, you ask? Well, Cristoforetti isn’t bringing just any old office Keurig. Nope, she’s got a specially designed espresso machine that will work for her, even in space.

To create this zero-gravity machine for Cristoforetti, Italian coffee-maker Lavazza partnered with Argotec, an engineering firm that focuses primarily on space-tech food. The only downside of this is that the coffee itself, unfortunately, won’t be zero gravity as well, so Cristoforetti is going to have to enjoy her daily venti skim no-whip no-foam pumpkin spice latte through a straw.

Plus one point for her teeth, minus two for those mouth wrinkles she’ll probably develop from that. Watching Interstellar basically made me a space-time expert though, so I can say with 50% confidence that she’ll come back looking better than the rest of us anyway. Can you use Botox in space? We’ll have to check back with Cristoforetti after she gets back from the Italian space station.

[via Daily Mail]

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The Recruitment Chair

The Recruitment Chair is a recent college graduate and ex-sorority girl who survives solely on Diet Coke and Candy Crush. She's currently weighing the pros and cons of getting a puppy with her complete lack of ability to keep anything alive. She tries her best to avoid caffeinated beverages after noon, but has yet to succeed.

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  1. -3
    Pepto Bismol

    I’m not an expert on the subject by any means, but I don’t think that the face wrinkles would be that big of a deal. With no gravity, the amount of force needed to suck the liquid through the straw probably isn’t that great. So she probably won’t have to suck as hard.

    Nice workMehLog in or sign up to reply. • 4 months ago