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I’m one week away from being 30. One week from entering into a new decade where it’s no longer acceptable to go to bars and not remember my Uber ride home. One week from having to be “in my thirties” rather than “in my late twenties.” One week from staring my forties in the face for the next ten years. Even though I’m closer to being 21 than I am to being 40, though, I’ve never felt more separated from that age group.
And I’m definitely not alone in that thinking.
Phil’s Crummy Corner, a Brooklyn bar located at 323 Columbia Street, has gone against the grain and raised their drinking age from the nation-wide standard of 21 to the age of 25. 25 is also the universal age where two-day hangovers come into play and you start thinking about heading home around midnight instead of 2 a.m.
The bar had apparently become bogged down by a younger clientele. Being in Brooklyn, I can only assume that it was a dive-y place discovered by some small contingent of miserable hipsters who popularized it and ran it into the ground by exclusively ordering Tecates and cocktails with at least five different ingredients.
One resident who lived near the bar said of the younger patrons, “They’re animals. Friday and Saturday night, it’s like animal town.” This person sounds like me in the middle of a shitty club saying, “Hey, can we go somewhere else? It’s too loud in here,” while some shitstick remix of an already remixed Chainsmokers song blasts through my skull at a million decibels.
In the most relatable explanation of why one neighboring resident was glad for the change, he explained, “I just want to be able to sleep on Friday and Saturday nights. That’s all I care about.” Lame? Yes, without a doubt. But when one of my roommates has someone at the house and they listen to music (that probably isn’t even that loud) past 12 o’clock on a Friday, I suddenly turn into Clint Eastwood from Gran Torino and debate walking downstairs with a shotgun to threaten them into silence.
I, myself, have been to one other bar that has implemented something similar to this. A Houston bar, Kirby Ice House, raised their drinking age to 23 in what I’ve been told is to keep the #vibes a little older and a little more responsible. Changing it to 23 pretty much just says, “If you’re in college, get the fuck out.” But honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I don’t need some young whippersnapper usurping the TouchTunes and taking over my Van Morrison with some EDM band that only sounds good while rolling on molly. .
[via Press Union]
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Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
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Now what do we do to get the annoying hipsters out?
I usually tell them that I discovered Vampire Weekend before they ever did and that I burned all their records because they are trash. That usually works because then then go home and shave their mustaches, take off the non-prescription glasses, put down the Ernest Hemingway book they actually don’t read and then they quit the coffee shop and go find a soulless corporate job because that’s what real adults do now
I mean it’s worth a shot
Go somewhere that isn’t Brooklyn.
I know a bar in SF that refuses to serve Fireball and has some bougie cinnamon-agave liqueur instead because “adults don’t drink Fireball.” I’m still plotting a way to ruin this establishment
I don’t know, man, not sure having that strong of opinions on Fireball is the best look.
I may not be proud of what I am but I’ll be damned if I let anything but my conscience judge me
Don’t be a party pooper
Gotta own your hot takes man.
Raleigh Times outlawed Fireball too
What bar is this? I’m here for it. Fireball is foul as are people that drink it.
Only thing I’d give you are these hands to catch
Ok. Enjoy your schnapps.
Why don’t you have a seat over there on your throne of lies.
I support this.
I’m going to go find this place and wreak havoc
The Dew Drop Inn in DC did something similar by raising their age of entry to 24. I don’t remember having enough of a disposable income in college (or hell, the year after college either) to make a bar fear me enough to exclude me, but damned if these kids didn’t find a way.
Winter helped keep the riff raff out in college for us.
Kirby Ice House is a great place man. Best patio I’d wager.
Still a cheap knockoff of the concept it’s based off of which is the illustrious Katy Trail Ice House
I’ve never been. Actually I’ve never heard of it.
Is it sad that I’m under 25 yet still approve of this concept?
Damn Will you’re old AF
Who do you know here?