======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====
“Hey Bernie, did you remember your dickfer?”
“No, what’s a dickfer?”
“It’s for pissing!”
The earliest dick joke I can remember. My uncle Rick always has a joke. On this particular occasion, I was probably around 10 years old, working slave labor for $3 an hour putting grills together and stocking shelves. I grew up working in my family’s hardware store and if you weren’t quick on your feet, you’d get bamboozled or be the butt of a joke because that’s how it is.
To this day, I love shit jokes, fart jokes, socially inappropriate jokes, you name it, I love it. It might not be the most highbrow genre or even a genre a 30-something should be proud of, but whatever, that’s how I got my start with here. In no way did I think that it’d ever be published, nor that I would still be here after three years. Sometimes, I reread that article to remember where I came from if I’m ever taking things too seriously.
I judge people I meet by their reaction to shitty (pun intended) situations. When I meet new people or someone brings a new face into the group of people I hang out with, I fuck with them and talk about instances in my life like the time I had diarrhea in front of a family ice fishing. The story itself, in my opinion, is highly entertaining and self-deprecating but also acts an initiation of sorts. My friend group often rolls their eyes as they could tell the story like they were there, but it’s a highly effective way to weed out people. The bottom line is I don’t want to be friends with people that are too high and mighty to enjoy what my mom calls “bathroom humor”.
Bathroom humor is hilarious because it’s something everyone can relate to. At some point or another, everyone has had a terrible experience with their bowels while some of us, it is an unfortunate part of life. We can all commiserate together as it lets people know you’re not alone when you’re going round third and you feel a squishy turd. It can happen to anyone and anywhere, just ask George Brett.
Mozart wrote a song called “Leck mic him Arsch” which you can use your imagination what that means. Our kid Geoffrey Chaucer wrote about it in The Canterbury Tales. No matter who you are or where you’re from, people enjoy and will continue to enjoy off-color humor.
It’s not just in literature, pop culture or music. There are some great idioms like, “Shit or get off the pot,” “it’s better to be pissed off than pissed on,” “I can’t even shit in peace.” It is a staple of society that has credence being tried and true colloquialisms; the language of the people. One of our greatest Founding Fathers, Benjamin Franklin, wasn’t allowed to write the Declaration of Independence because the dude’s bathroom humor (look this shit up) was off the hook.
Mostly, I love the universal appeal. If you go to some remote tribe in New Guinea and rip a giant fart, you can bet your bottom dollar those dudes with sticks through their ears are going to laugh. When I was in college, my cousin scored a few Rangers tickets (the New York not the Texas variety). We took the Amtrak in from NJ and this rather large woman got on the train across from us. As she was sitting down, she ripped one that sounded like a whoopee cushion. I tried to contain my laughter but the harder I tried, the more I laughed to the point where the entire section of our car was crying. She got up and got off the train. While I feel bad about this, the fact that my friends and strangers alike came together to laugh at a loud body function illustrates to me the universal comedic nature of an untimely air biscuit.
Wherever you fall on the spectrum, know that our generation was tempered in the fires of bathroom humor thanks to cartoons like Ren and Stimpy. We brought the “shart” to mainstream. We defined who “Number Two worked for”. We found out that Bono weighs 80 Courics. Bathroom humor has been around since the dawn of time, but for me, I hate those uptight people who can’t enjoy a good, buttholesome joke..
Image via YouTube