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It’s a fad that won’t die. Pokémon Go lovers are everywhere, walking in front of traffic, derailing trains and wrecking cars all in a quest to throw a computer-generated Pokéball at an unsuspecting Squirtle. It has even upset the leadership at the Holocaust Museum, who are begging patrons to please stop playing Pokémon Go next to exhibits about the worst genocide of the last ten lifetimes.
And just like with every fad out there, savvy entrepreneurs are ready to cash in on the action. A good example of that is this Baltimore man, who is offering a Pokémon Go Chauffeur Service around the city so you can collect as many imaginary creatures as your heart desires without driving your Nissan Altima into oncoming traffic.
Greetings fellow Pokemon Master’s
Have you ever wanted to have your very own chauffeur personally drive you around to Baltimore’s Poke-Stops and Gyms? Looks like your wish has been granted! For one hour I will personally drive you around to Baltimore’s Poke-Stops & Gyms helping you catch them all.
1. GET ALL OF THE STEPS WITH NONE OF THE SWEAT – We will drive around at egg incubation speed so that you still get credit towards hatching your eggs.
2. GO ANYWHERE – You have a choice of traveling where you want in the Baltimore City area or take one of my pre-constructed routes.*
3. NO HASSLE – I can pick you up and drop you off at your house. Or we can meet in Hampden.
4. GET VARIETY – Explore all of Baltimore to find different kinds of Pokemon.
Feel free to contact me if you want to know more info. I accept both cash and Venmo.
PS: PRAISE HELIX
* Due to the speed we have to drive at to incubate eggs we will be avoiding highways and major roads.
The one hour service costs a measly $25, so depending on how many Pokémon you catch, your ROI is likely going to be pretty high.
There is not a better time to catch Pokémon than on the commute home from work. Speaking from experience, riding the train through Chicago has yielded some incredible results in my Pokémon Go app. Yesterday I caught 12 Pokémon on my four-stop ride home, and all it cost me was $2.50 for the train ride and a couple nasty looks from female passengers who thought I was snapping photos of their cleavage. Sorry ma’am, there was a Squirtle on your tits. What do you want me to do? Leave it there?!
The best is when you are out in public catching Pokémon and you see another young professional in his button down and slacks doing the exact same thing. You each toss each other a subtle nod and continue on your way collecting creatures. It’s a beautiful thing, really.
Could this be the Uber idea of 2016? Someone in Baltimore needs to give Mike a call and see how many Pokémon you can catch from the back of his sedan. Make sure to leave a tip correlating to how many Pokémon you catch. I have a feeling Mike is going to be rolling in Tubmans before this is all said and done..