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I don’t have to tell anyone reading this that $1,300 isn’t too far off from what a month’s work of minimum-wage work will get you. It’s significantly more than your tax refund, and it’s probably pretty close to the amount of rent you split with two other strangers from Craigslist. For me, $1,300 is a hell of a lot of money. For Kristy Love, it’s just another day’s paycheck. That’s right, Kristy Love makes $1,300 EACH DAY. Kristy isn’t a doctor, a lawyer, a CEO, or a CFO. Nope, she’s just your regular, run-of-the-mill masseuse. With 48NN tits. That she squashes men with.
As someone who personally knows the struggles of going for a jog with regular old D’s, my back is already hurting just thinking about walking around with those things. Kristy, at first ashamed of her enormous bazongas, realized she could start making an enormous amount of money by using her boobs to bankroll her life. Male massage clients began asking her to smother them or whack them on the head, and Kristy wisely agreed – for the right price. Don’t worry, though, it’s totally safe – Kristy says, “I have to keep an eye out when I’m squashing someone. I look at their feet and their fingers to make sure there is still movement there and they’re still breathing.”
So there you have it. It’s perfectly safe to be smothered and covered in 48NN boobs. But is it fun? Decide for yourself here.
Of course, the downside of squashing men with your tits for a living is that you have to tell your family and friends that you squash men with your tits for a living. But Kristy does NOT do porn. No way. Not this girl. But she does love her body, and she isn’t ashamed to say it.
Anyway, Kristy, I getchu girl. Use your body, you do you, make that paper. I would totally be a stripper on the side except for the fact that I dance like a 47-year-old dad chaperoning a high school dance, and as far as I’m aware, strip clubs exclusively for Pokémon enthusiasts and information technology specialists don’t yet exist. Have fun, and hey, if you ever have a month’s rent to spare, you know who to call..
[via Buzzfeed]
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Steph W.
Steph W. is a new Master's degree graduate with an intern's salary and six-figure taste. She realizes her expectations far exceed reality, so she spends her days pinning away Loubs she pretends are in her physical closet instead of her virtual one. Her hobbies include attempting to trapping her boyfriend into marriage before he finds out how insane she is and pretending that Black Box wine tastes as good as the kind she could afford when she was gainfully employed. Send her tips for getting out of student debt at recruitchairtsm@gmail.com
@therecruitchair
Sigh, motivation for the week already squashed before noon on a Monday.
Haha, I see what you did there.
Casually dropping that you have D’s. Classic.
I’d hit.
It would make for a good story.
#SquashMcGannon