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There’s a whole secret society that you get indoctrinated into once you appear on The Bachelor. Take, for example, your girl Izzy, who had maybe 30 seconds total of screen time on Ben’s season before getting thrown outta the mansion Uncle Phil to Jazz-style. And yet she became a regular on Paradise and you can now see her at all sorts of Bachelor meet-ups and viewing parties.
Other perks of the club also seem to include snagging phone numbers of people who weren’t even on your season of the show. It’s truly incredible. Couldn’t hook up on your season? No problem! Grab someone’s number from another season, start texting, meet up on Bachelor in Paradise, make a view visits to the smash club, get trillions on Instagram followers, profit. It’s a beautiful blueprint to success. Some real American-Dream-pick-yourself-up-by-your-Tom-Ford-boot-straps-type shit. And nobody is trying to embody that more than old friend Chad Johnson.
Chad knows how to be the center of attention. He knows how to create a media frenzy. He is not dumb. He states that he’s going back on Paradise and it makes too much sense not put him on the show. People will tune in just to see how long it takes before three former NFL linemen have to come charging in from off screen to prevent him from using a bottle of Patron to bash Chris Harrison’s head in. But if he’s going back to Mexico, homeboy’s gotta have at least one high-level prospect scouted and ready for the big leagues upon his arrival. Enter circus ringleader du jour, Corinne Olympios. But if you ask me, Chad’s not into Corinne for the right reasons.
Per Hollywood Life:
Villains in paradise? It sounds like that’s the plan if Nick Viall doesn’t chose Corinne Olympios! Chad Johnson just revealed he’s interested in Corinne, they’ve already been talking — and he hopes to meet her!
“I mean, I don’t know what she’s like in person, but… we’ve texted a little bit,” Chad Johnson, 28, told Entertainment Tonight during a Facebook Live interview when asked about fans shipping him with Corinne Olympios, 25. He actually revealed that they started talking because he knew he could relate to her.
“I knew that because she was the villain, nobody was really going to be talking to her. She was probably going through this all alone,” he said, adding that it got to be a lot for him too when the non-stop hate would come through. “So I just wanted to let her know, like, ‘Try not to look at it, let it pass. It will slow down,’” he said. “She’s good [now]. I think at first, she had the same emotion as me. She was like, ‘No, I’m good. I got this,’ and then a couple weeks down the line, I think she texted me like, ‘This is getting kind of tough.’”
This is a nice charade Chad’s got going on. Pretend to be the nice guy who can offer Corinne some friendly advice about being the misunderstood “villain” the whole country wants to watch from a distance like a zoo animal. Then when he’s got Corinne’s trust, he schtups her and then eats her flesh for protein.
I’m not denying that Chad wouldn’t be interested in Corinne. It just makes more sense that he’s interested in her because of her wealth and assets. If I’m Chad, no shit I’m interested in trying to lock down Corinne. Get access to a multi-million-dollar company. Have Corinne buy you $800 sweatpants. Have Raquel bring you platters of deli meats on the reg. Drink nice Scotch with a notorious South Beach Yelp reviewer with fancy glasses that have flat spots for your thumbs. Chad wants to be part of The Finer Things Club and he knows Corinne’s his golden ticket to Miami money.
Plus, Corinne’s got a platinum vagine. Who wouldn’t want to at least see if she’s all vaginal hubris or actually has the goods to back it up.
But here’s where the story spices up: they both attended a pre-Oscar party this week. Everyone knows Oscars week is a prelude to wild sex orgies fueled by champagne. However, it seems that Corinne’s propensity for sleep got the better of her that evening.
Per Elite Daily:
Apparently, these two had quite the conversation at Nightingale Plaza. According to a source at the party, Corinne and Chad “appeared friendly, but not flirty,” and she left CJ at the venue at roughly 10 pm.
She left at 10?! Do these Hollywood parties even start before midnight?! Seriously, Corinne just being a wet blanket like the pros do it. Or she’s just absolutely brilliant. Tease Chad justtttt enough to get him to come to Paradise.
Meanwhile, Chad did NOT look so hot at this thing:
Olivia and Corinne though? Pure heat forest fires.
Chad with the corniest nickname you’ve ever heard, bee tee dubs. Olichorinne? Chad’s better than that. At least he’s got a few more months before Mexico to workshop some more nicknames.
PS – Chad actually thinks he’s going to be a “changed man” on Paradise.
Of course Chad is going back to Bachelor in Paradise after being infamously sent home last season, but he revealed that the world may see a different side of him this time around — and he actually wants to find love. “It is a great opportunity,” he said. “I think the one thing people would see with me is my ability to read through people and know which girl just wants to pawn teeth whitener, and which girl actually likes me.”
Chad has actually cut way down on drinking, and his goals for this season are simple: “Try not to black out, try not to get kicked off. Do not scream at Chris Harrison, [and] watch out for the crabs. And actually try to get on a date with the girls I am interested in.”
Pretty much the same checklist I’ve got every Friday night. Don’t black out, don’t get kicked out of anywhere, don’t scream at any universally beloved television show hosts, and watch out for (getting) crabs. Just doesn’t always play out like I plan, though. And I’ve got a feeling it won’t for Chad, either. .
[via Hollywood Life / Elite Daily]
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Boston Max
Spending my retirement fund at Trader Joe's and trying to remember to check my mailbox semi-regularly
@BostonMaxG
@boston_maxg
Chad Ochocinco is the real Chad Johnson. This other guy is an imposter.
Fact
I’ve never wanted anything more in my life than for these two to get married
Corinne – Still would. Maybe the future Mrs. Ruxin would be down to clown as well in this dream scenario??? Shooters shoot.
O-Face even looks doable in that photo. Having those three on Paradise would be TV gold.
We need an update when you ask and make this “future Mrs. Ruxin” thing official.
Yall will be the first to know!
I’m waiting
And I’m waiting on your response about the threesome with us and Corrine.
It’s embarrassing how excited I am about this.
Olivia looking fine in that photo.
Olivia has grown on me since she has been on that island for about a year. She actually seems more normal than the one we all thought would stab Ben just last year.
Would.
PS To be honest I don’t find Corinne attractive. If you study it, her face is a perfect circle which I find hilarious.
Can we just go ahead and get a jump start on the reality show after Chad and Corinne get married? “They’re calling it the next Jersey Shore…”
But what if skinny ties are out tho