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Everyone has their own secret hangover cure that they swear by. My go-to is popping a couple Advil before bed, getting a good night’s sleep, and combatting it with a McGriddle and a very large coffee. Other common cures include a cold shower, drinking Pedialyte, or merely staying drunk thanks to your local Bloody Mary bar. You probably have a routine that you stick to religiously. However, if your go-to cure starts to fail you, it may be time to change your routine and start looking outside the box. The good news is that scientists found the “best new hangover cure” to help you out with your Sunday Scaries. The bad news? It involves hitting the gym, and I’d honestly rather let my hangover kill me.
Australian fitness trainer and gym owner Jason Simoes confirmed all of our worst nightmares when he decided to fill the world with the blasphemy that the best hangover cure is actually to hit the gym. While I would claim this under “alternative facts,” Simoes claims that your hangover isn’t getting any better by lying in bed, so instead, you should get your sorry ass out of bed and onto the treadmill, because you’ll at least rehydrate yourself by drinking the water you’re sweating out. People that go to the gym inform me that working out releases endorphins which make you happy and will help with that hangover, although I have personally not found any evidence of this in my personal life and believe that the scientific community is lying to me on this one.
Of course, it’s not completely hopeless – on the bright side, Simoes recommends that you keep your feet firmly planted on a cardio machine and stay away from the free weights, primarily because your hungover mind is too slow to react appropriately and you really don’t want to drop a 145-pound deadlift bar on your toes. While Simoes might be okay with ditching Crossfit on Sundays for some time with the cardio bunnies, I’m going to give this hangover “cure” a hard pass. Maybe one day my greasy breakfast sandwiches and “Friends” reruns will stop working, but if that day comes and I get a hangover so bad that it might literally kill me, I can assure that my last moments will be spent laughing at Joey and not on the elliptical. If I die, I die, but at least I won’t have to live in a world where I feel like I’m dying, ya feel me? .
[via Daily Mail]
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Steph W.
Steph W. is a new Master's degree graduate with an intern's salary and six-figure taste. She realizes her expectations far exceed reality, so she spends her days pinning away Loubs she pretends are in her physical closet instead of her virtual one. Her hobbies include attempting to trapping her boyfriend into marriage before he finds out how insane she is and pretending that Black Box wine tastes as good as the kind she could afford when she was gainfully employed. Send her tips for getting out of student debt at recruitchairtsm@gmail.com
@therecruitchair
I threw up in front of a school bus this morning while on a run. I wasn’t even hungover. This cannot be true.
It’s a great cure if you’re a little hungover. If you’re very hungover, good luck.
I was gonna post something similar but more snarky. Thanks for the save.
I swear this got disproved by science a few years ago. Regardless, who the hell has the energy to work out while hungover?
I tried it last Saturday. I actually felt worse after my workout.
If walking to the door to get my Postmates delivery hurts, there’s no way going to the gym is going to do any good
I’m only subscribing to this theory if we are counting sex as a workout. Otherwise, count me out.
Congrats on the sex?
Not gonna say I don’t enjoy sex hungover, but I’ve almost puked while doing so
You hit the steam room/sauna while viciously slamming waters & gatorades. Then you workout, thats my go to plan.
The sauna/hot tub to cold tub combo confuses your senses enough for a few minutes to prioritize the fact that it thinks you’re literally going to die over your hangover.
Don’t sleep on the sauna… all the benefits of cardio with none of the effort done in half the time. Best way to sweat out a hangover
Corporate Cardio
Who deadlifts 145?
trout-shouldered pansies, that’s who
Had a hungover brunch last weekend at a place across from a gym where I could see people working out through the windows. I wanted to vomit everywhere just watching them. I’ll pass.
I find that a light workout does make me feel better. Get the blood pumping, sweat out the toxins, rehydrate thoroughly, and stretch. Any difficult workout will make me feel worse, and risks injury.