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I consider myself to be two things: rather well-traveled and decently fashionable. I’ve seen a lot of the world: our fellow North American countries, some of South America, a good chunk of Europe, and, because I’m a fucking patriot, a bunch of cities in the U.S. In terms of the latter…sure, my entire current wardrobe comes from Old Navy, but that’s because I’m too cheap to buy expensive clothes when they get too big relatively quickly. Even so, I do keep up with fashion and try to duplicate the looks with whatever is available for under twenty bucks-a-piece.
Anyway, if you follow me on Twitter (please), you know that I’m currently in Spain, and I’m learning a lot of new things: IKEA here has a grocery store in it, there’s a place called Dunkin’ Coffee that does sell donuts (so I’m not sure why the fuck it’s not just called Dunkin’ Donuts), and jorts are super in.
For a long time, jean shorts were a total fashion faux pas, but over the last few years they’ve come back into fashion, with short versions being worn by girls on the festival circuit and Kim Kardashian rocking knee length pairs everywhere from a late-night pizza run to the movies with Kanye to New York Fashion Week. Yet, they have still remained off-limits for dudes, relegated to the back of the closet with the much-maligned cargo shorts.
Well, that’s not the case here in Espana; I’m seeing dudes everywhere here rocking jorts. Not the baggy, below-the-knee ones of yesteryear, but close-fitting, at-the-knee cuffed versions such as these:
Note that the last photo is what appears to be a bunch of high schoolers in Colorado. Does that mean that we post-grads are falling behind on the trend? Should we follow the example of Spanish men and Colorado teenagers and embrace dudes in jorts? After spending several days eying guys wearing the trend, I have to answer this question with a resounding “yes.”
Most ladies will admit that there is nothing better than a guy with a great ass wearing a nice fitting pair of jeans, so it only stands to reason that the same applies to a well-fitting knee-length version, with the bonus of a well-defined calf not being covered by denim. Of course, certain parameters do apply. The length must be just right; too short and you look like your auditioning to star in a cowboy porn and too long makes you look like a reject from ’90s one-hit-wonder Kriss Kross…and that is not a look that makes me want to Jump Jump. The fit is also important; too tight screams “Hey, look at my junk!” and too loose does not flatter your caboose. The ideal look is right at the knee and well-fitting, as in the examples above.
So here’s what I’m taking away from Spain: jean shorts on guys are hot when done right. So let’s stop shitting on jorts and bring back Bermuda-length denim britches for dudes. You can still leave those cargo shorts in the back of your closet though – those aren’t ever coming back..