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I know half the country was covered in snow this past weekend. Not Austin. 75 and sunny as hell Saturday. Perfect.
Sunday was even nicer. Light breeze and not a cloud in the sky.
The One Beer Buzz movement is sweeping the country, and rightfully so. But your humble podcast producer would like to propose a new trend: the weak cocktail.
Summer approaches, and with it come cook-outs, pool parties, and day-long ragers. Now is the time to dial in your approach for the sunny days to come. My suggestion: get a 30-ounce Yeti Rambler, fill that mother all the way to the top with ice. Get some citrus and sparkling water out of the fridge and assemble your weak-ass cocktail. I’m a fan of a weak Campari and soda.
Start with the iced-up Yeti. Pour in a few glugs of Campari. Top that with enough soda water to fill the big cup. This weekend that was a full can of LaCroix. Peel a big piece of orange rind, toss it in there and stir with a clean finger. Boom. Your low-alcohol, all-day sipper is ready.
Let’s say you don’t have a bottle Campari laying around (you should tho). A glug or two of vodka or gin will work just as well. Squeeze half a lime or lemon and you’re good to go.
This cocktail works great poolside — get a base and a mellow buzz at the same time. Sip one all afternoon while tending to a couple racks of ribs. When the meat is ready, you’ll be hungry and hydrated as opposed to your BBQ buddy who’s bloated and tired after drinking beer for six hours. Hell, use it to take the edge off while you publicly fight with your significant other while out on an afternoon stroll.
The weak cocktail is best utilized on Sundays. Fill that big boy up and enjoy a mid-afternoon golf nap. Leave the second half of it at home and run to the store. The Sunday grocery run is a lot less stressful with the edge off. And since you only poured a shot or two to begin with, the sobriety needed to operate heavy machinery should still be intact. Plus, as the ice slowly melts, your drink adds liquid volume, tastes better and is more refreshing.
Come home and do some laundry. Start some meal planning. Sit down and watch some old episodes of Bar Rescue. Put the laundry in the dryer. Light a scented candle and relax. Change your sheets and put away your clean underwear. By now, your cocktail will be on its last legs. Fill it back up with ice and still water, hop in the shower and forget about the Sunday Scaries. The weak cocktail is the answer. .
Respond
@micahwiener
@micahwiener
micahtx
micah@grandex.co
I was so excited to be a Campari-soda boy for the first time ever last weekend. Got me a bottle at the liquor store with some Topo Chico, poured up a glass and hit my back porch.
Turns out I hate Campari and wasted $30. I switched to Coors Light instead.
Can you send it to our new office? Thanks.
Double down, get some sweet vermouth and make some Americanos
1oz Campari
1oz Sweet Vermouth
3oz soda water
Take orange peel and squeeze to express the oils on the top of the drink and drop it in.
Mellows out the bitter edge of the Campari
And if you wanna go full strength, swap in 1oz of bourbon or rye for the soda water.
That sounds amazing and there’s a good chance I’ll give it a shot this weekend.
I would literally give anything to just be able to drink on a patio that doesn’t have 18″ of snow right now.
Apologies.
Bonfire and bourbon weather where k come from.
I cannot wait to be lounging on my pool deck with a big ole vodka lemonade all goddamn summer.
Enjoy the diabetes !
I believe it’s pronounced diaabeetus. Besides maybe he is using light lemonade, possibly lemon juice and Splenda, but hopefully he is making his drink 95% vodka thus making the sugar negligible. You don’t know.
I read this whole article in Micah’s voice in my head
I read this whole article in Jared’s @MicahWiener voice
Hey Micah, good stuff. I wish you’d throw out some takes more often. You’re the man.
big shouts to you 19th hole.
Just found the HTX groupme on the PGP reddit, is it active?
No clue. Never been on reddit in my life
It won’t let me post links here, but yeah, there is one not being used, needs more people to get traction
My take on Micah: underappreciated and underrated. This is a great take.
This is 100% correct
Salute.
Pro Tip: You can buy 4 of Walmart’s branded Ozark 30oz tumblers for the same price as 1 Yeti tumbler. Now you have enough tumblers for all your friends to enjoy weak cocktails on the porch.
Or the free office swag 30 oz RTIC tumblers, fo free
I made a weakass G&T in a 20 oz. glass and enjoyed a nice long bath yesterday and caught up on some reading. Some herbal remedies may also have been in play. I know I’m not exactly wilding, but it does let you unwind a bit in the afternoon without paying for it Sunday night.
You live your best life, but it’s a no from me.
Potentially the best take in PGP history.