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I used to cook. Like, a lot. I worked in a restaurant for two years and tried my hardest to keep that skill once I left. Well, it’s been almost 3 years, and whatever I had was gone.
This is my attempt to get it back.
Hangover Helper
At this point, it shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone that I drink a lot. Feel like that’s kind of what I built my brand on. Well, when that’s a huge part of the identity you build for yourself, you have to deal with the repercussions in one way or another. Everyone’s got their poison: weed, booze, cigarettes…whatever your poison is, that’s up to you. Mine is food. Specifically, a sweet potato hash with over easy eggs and either a Bloody Mary or a damn good cup of coffee to top it off. If you’re having a tough go of it, I recommend tossing on some Alabama Shakes and leaning into it.
Yep, that’s a solid soundtrack to start a Saturday morning. Let’s get cooking.
Here’s what you’ll need:
-1 Sweet potato
-A handful of chopped onions
-2 eggs
-A shit load of veggies
-A good dash or so of olive oil
What’s great about cooking while you’re hungover is that you can use pretty much whatever vegetables are in your fridge to make you feel better. I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve barfed while cooking this masterpiece and immediately felt better after eating it. The combination of veggies doesn’t matter; just adding these vitamins and minerals to your breakfast will help neutralize your hangover. At least that’s what I think. I’ve done little to no research to back up that theory. It works for me, so I hope it works for you too.
Here’s what you’ll do:
1. Cut your sweet potatoes into thin slices. Yep. The whole thing. And then, we’re going to take those slices and turn them into hash browns by dicing the fuck out of them. Chop them nice and thin. Some people say that’s what makes them cook faster. Honestly, I just don’t have the actual cheese-grater-looking tool that I can use to turn them into legit hash browns. Once you’re done chopping, toss them in a big pan.
2. Let’s just chop the hell out of our onions. At this point, you’ve probably spent more time chopping up sweet potatoes than you wanted to, so however you ant to dice up those onions is all you. It doesn’t even matter what kind of onions you’re using, really. White, yellow, red, it’s all going to probably taste similar. Let’s get these suckers into a decent quarter inch by quarter inch chunk and toss them into the same pan as your sweet potatoes.
3. Do the same to the rest of your veggies. Asparagus? Green pepper? Red pepper? Tomato? Zucchini? Carrot? Whatever. Get it in the pan.
4. Pour a small amount of olive oil into the pan (like, 3 seconds of pouring) with the veggies, and put it over medium-high heat until you hear it start really sizzling. None of that wimpy, bored snake hiss shit. I want that sucker sounding like a pissed off rattlesnake. Once it gets to that point, mix that shit with salt and pepper and whatever spices you want.
5. Repeat step 4 until the sweet potatoes have browned up and the onions are crispy.
6. Lube up a separate pan with either butter, oil, or a non-stick spray. Crack two eggs in that sucker, making sure you don’t break the yolks. When the whites of the eggs start to solidify a little bit, flip the eggs over to add a little bit of heat onto that top side.
7. Dump the veggie dish onto a plate.
8. Slide eggs on top of the veggies on the previously mentioned plate.
If you really want, you can cook bacon during this whole process. I’m definitely not against it. Frankly, I’ve done it every weekend for the last month. Like I said, what’s great about this recipe is that it kind of does allow you to customize it to your own hangover. I like to sip a Bloody Mary while cooking this, but that’s not to say you can’t do it while nursing a Mimosa, you know?
However you choose to slice and dice this mofo, I’m rating it at 9/10. It’s the honest to goodness hangover cure, and I’m sticking with that.
If you decide to try and replicate this meal—which I think would be awesome—feel free to send me pics and tips for what you did that might make it better! .
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Charlie
Using sarcasm as a defense mechanism since 1993. At any given moment I'm either tired, drunk, or stressed out. Get at me at charliepgp@gmail.com or whatever.
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If you’re cooking bacon, hold off on cooking the eggs until you’re done with the bacon and then cook your eggs in the bacon grease.
You could also cook your bacon first and cook everything in the bacon grease!
This is the correct take. Potatoes cooked in bacon grease is my jam.
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Nothing beats pancakes fried in bacon grease
I just got paid $6784 working off my laptop this month. And if you think that’s cool, my divorced friend has twin toddlers and made over $9k her first month. It feels so good making so much money YT when other people have to work for so much less. This is what I do… Onlinecareer10.com
sausage is better than bacon 8 days a week
I’ve got no respect for this take
I actually agree with this take given the right type of sausage. A quality link is better than a lot of bacon in my humble and downvoted opinion.
Turkey bacon or gtfo
Name does not check out. No way in hell the GOAT ate turkey bacon.
It’s true, Quail. Porter ate the authentic stuff. Myself and Kenny had to stay slim and trim.
I got no respect for this one either. People will literally shit on anything nowadays just for a few RTs. Bacon is good and if you don’t think so I regret to inform you (since you probably lack the EQ to realize) that you’re in the vast minority.
You can take lazy way out and cook your bacon in the oven while cooking all the other stuff.
This is actually the best way to make bacon. My source, I worked for the largest pork manufacturer in the country.
I used the George Foreman the other day and was pleasantly surpirsed. Fit 8 slices, easy clean up, bacon stayed nice and flat, and no risk of grease popping my bare chest
I do something similar, but put some chorizo in.
Oh HELL yeah
Definitely going to use this to big dick my friend when he and his girlfriend come down to visit this weekend. I get a certain amount of satisfaction out of being a good host and presenting the illusion that I have my life together. This will do nicely. I hope you continue to pump these recipes out too, this could be an awesome reoccurring piece.
I can barely move when I’m hungover, let alone make myself breakfast in the morning
Name checks out.
I sprinkle paprika and cumin on the sweet potatoes as well. It really adds a nice flavor.
Pro Tip: Adding oil to a hot pan, rather than heating up oil, prevents food from sticking. – budget skilled cook
This. Made. Me. So. Damn. Hungry.
Are you really hungover, if you don’t cook bacon the next morning??
This, my friend, is what we call a sweet potato hash. And it is fantastic for a hangover or just for a meal. Get yourself some cumin and chili powder on those sweet potatoes and veggies for some good color and a southwest flavor.