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Our question for today: is there an age at which making out with a stranger in a bar becomes no longer acceptable? The last time we did this, we were in college–a period in life when pretty much anything flies. There are hot people, there’s dancing, maybe some gyration, and then suddenly you’re making out. Numbers may or may not be exchanged. In college, this is somehow the way some serious relationships start. You’ll likely seem that person again next weekend, at the same place and same time.
What about once you graduate and are a few years out of college, though, and you’re expected to behave like an adult? This past weekend, we were at the best summer spot in the area when we met a whole group of fraternity men just after their annual alumni golf tournament. These guys spanned in age and personality and were out to have a good time while reuniting in their brotherhood–and what better way to do that than with sorority women? What a coincidence.
If you saw our Twitter this weekend, you may know that one of us made out with a stranger at the bar. This got us to thinking: how does randomly making out in bars just happen? (Well, aside from the obvious consumption of copious amounts of alcohol, that is.) While we don’t know the answer to that question, we do want to explore the dos and don’ts of making out in bars post college.
Dancing does not mean she wants to make out with you. Didn’t you see her dancing with your brother, who everyone is pretty sure is gay? Didn’t you see her dancing with your other brother who graduated last year, who’s also spilling drinks on everyone and acting like it’s his first time drinking? Just because a girl dances with you, it does NOT mean she wants to make out with you. It probably just means she likes to dance.
Make real conversation first. Conversation should include, but should absolutely not be limited to, “Where do you live?” and “Where did you go to school?” and “Where do you work?” That is barely conversation; in fact, it’s stranger conversation, the kind you have when you have never met the person and have no idea if you have anything in common. If it doesn’t pass beyond that, you’re still strangers, so keep your lips to yourself.
Hold eye contact. Make it last for a while. If it’s reciprocated, that’s good. We might be interested in you, or at least very attracted to you. If we’re in our own little world and dancing away and not looking at you, we might just be enjoying dancing. Don’t just suddenly put your lips on our lips. You are opening yourself to a whole slew of bad outcomes that may include pouring our drinks on you, pushing you away, or even the rare bitch slap.
Don’t be (ridiculously) drunk. We expect you to drink. You’re at a bar. Just don’t be drunk and sloppy and try and make out with us. Unless, of course, we are drunk and sloppy, too (we hope we’re not). Post college, drunk and sloppy is a turn off. What’s attractive is someone who has his or her shit together. If you’re slurring and spilling your drink on us and then trying to make out with us, we won’t be interested.
Don’t immediately go talk to another person of the opposite sex. Post making out, don’t excuse yourself and immediately go talk to someone of the opposite sex. That makes you an asshole. At least try to make some light conversation first and then excuse yourself to get another drink or use the bathroom.
Exchange numbers. If you made out in the bar, at least exchange numbers so that you seem mature enough to handle some kind of relationship and you don’t just go around making out with strangers every night–even if that is exactly what you do.
The moral of the story? We guess it’s still okay to make out with strangers in bars. Hell, one of us just did, but we’re still conflicted about the whole thing. At least if you follow these guidelines, you seem a bit more put together and respectable. Something could even come of it, just like it did in college.
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Jenna Crowley
Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, documenting her love of all things cheese related, and hosting the new PGP podcast Don't Take It From Us. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at JennaLCrowley@gmail.com.
@JennaLCrowley
@donttakeitfromus
I like how this was subtly addressed to dudes.
We’re just trying to help you guys out…
DFMOs never get old
We appreciate the note of encouragement, Mr. Draper. Thanks for not judging 😉
Although if there is no dance floor, we’re out of luck
True….although we rarely need a dance floor to dance.
Here’s your guide: just do it. Boom.
“Dancing does not mean she wants to make out with you.” Maybe, and that’s ok, because she wants the D either way, right?