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Here are a few tips from someone with absolutely no qualifications to be dishing out job interview advice: be sober, don’t be drunk, and don’t stab the interviewer. Think you can pull that off? Awesome. You are a more competent applicant than Jose Lopez. He failed to follow a single tip.
Lopez arrived at the business Monday afternoon seeking a job. He was there to interview with the business’ owner and had already completed an application for employment. Unfortunately, Lopez found himself a little too sauced up during the interview, because the boss caught on and shit hit the fan.
From NBC San Diego:
When the business owner smelled alcohol on Lopez’s breath, he confronted the interviewee about it.
In turn, Lopez became angry and then got physical, police say. A fight ensued, but when the boss got the upper hand and put the suspect in a headlock, Lopez stabbed him in the arm, according to investigators.
Ah, shit. I’m not certain about much in this story – such as what the fuck was running through his inebriated cranium – but I am fully confident in saying that he ate toxic levels of shit during that interview.
You’re already busted, bro. You are obviously not going to be offered the job. It’s at that point that you walk back out the way you came, go back home, and further drown your disappointment in whatever substance you were dabbling with earlier. On the flip side, you could simply refuse to take the easy way out, never consider cutting your losses, and just shove a knife in your potential bosses arm. That’s always charming. If there is one charge that gets employers moist, it’s an assault with a deadly weapon conviction. They just love that shit.
Lopez’s day wasn’t quite over, though. After stabbing the interviewer, he ran out, leaving his completed job application behind. The business owner showed the application to El Cajon police officers, who arrested Lopez at his home later in the day.
Never underestimate the value of first impressions. .
[via NBC San Diego]
Image via Police Archives
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Bogey Wells
Bogey Wells is a TFM Senior Freelance Contributor. He occasionally dabbles with PGP.
I guess I must have slipped through the cracks. I do always give a fake name ’cause I like to stay off the grid. You know what I mean?
They usually just give me a bunch of antibiotics, the sores go away, and I walk out!