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I got engaged recently. My phone lit up with a million Facebook and Instagram notifications, combined with a couple texts from people I haven’t talked to in years, combined with the group chat. While everyone was obviously happy for me, guys tend to congratulate each other in a different way than girls would congratulate. My fiancée’s friends were all “OMG CONGRATS!!!” and a million emojis while my friends were… a little different. My group text all saw this tweet and had particular fun with the fourth picture.
They had their normal fun.
Congrats Lebron
Your hairline is weaker than Stephen Hawking’s biceps
Top of your head looks thinner than your patience
Thanks, hairline. I couldn’t even enjoy my special day without you ruining it. I already have a giant head. I already have a big forehead. I already look like a damn Nephilim and now you want to go and make things worse? All you had to do was stay where you were. I didn’t need anything more from you. Instead, you’ve decided to fall back. Not only are you falling back, but you’re leaving some of your friends behind. I applaud the sections of my hairline that remain fighting the good fight, but for the rest of my hairline, it’s over.
Here’s to the good times. Here’s to the killer flow I had in the summer of 2011. Here’s to getting detention growing up in private school because the lettuce was just too damn long. Here’s to not being afraid for my friends to throw up a pic of us on Instagram. Here’s to having to wear a hat all the time. Here’s to not being able to enjoy my youth. Here’s to being vaulted straight into a midlife crisis.
I can’t escape it. Everywhere I go, I am a 23-year-old looking like a 42-year-old. My head is so big that hats don’t even fit normally. I don’t know what to do; I don’t know how to handle this heartbreak. It looks as if the only outcome is our impending breakup. A life full of happiness and memories is all coming to an end because you quit trying. I never stopped loving you, but you stopped loving me.
I’m going to move on and focus on the future. I’m going to embrace the hand I’ve been dealt. I owned the “dad bod” and now I’m going to own the “dad head.” A receding hairline is a sign of age and maturity. Maybe I can get some respect in the hallways in the office. I no longer look like some young dumb college kid, but now I look like a seasoned vet. Are you more comfortable doing business with some baby-faced punk with a full head of hair, or a real man who has fought through adversity? Nothing is more difficult than coming to terms with losing your hairline, and the fact that I can make it through this hardship just proves who I am as a man. I am a warrior. I am a fighter. I am a legend. I am a 23-year-old who is losing his hairline, but I will not give up. I will be victorious. .
Image via YouTube
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@delph_13
@gdelph13
gdelph
The top of your head being cut off in your profile pic is making a lot more sense now. Played that card many times myself.
Damn man just twist the knife some more
We get it, you’re engaged.
And at 23. NBD that I’m going to die alone.
you have better odds then Veronica does
I mean if you wanna complain after two articles then I can just squeeze it into every article if you want
Just don’t become the person in a relationship everyone hates, you not so long ago wrote about. https://pgparchive.wpengine.com/we-get-it-youre-in-a-relationship/
Well at least you got your girl on lock down so shes stuck on this ride with you. so glass half full.
Dave, care to comment?
Did you get engaged recently? You haven’t talked about it much
Did you put an entire EDM concert on your snap story recently?
Next one is November 19th, put in on your calendar grandpa
Name calling? Thought we were friends
Friends? Only if I get a wedding invite. Just send me the address and time of the reception, I’ll miss the ceremony.
Did Han Solo do some of the roasting in the group chat?
I may have not much, but I have a full head of hair
Just shave it. I lost the fight in college and embraced the bald.
Absofuckinglutely not
I agree nothing worse than someone who tries to hold on to their hair too long.
I feel your pain man. I’m older than you by about 5 years, but in about the same place. What is ridiculous is that my father still has a full head of hair at 68. I blame 2 years at war, stress, partying, and my grandfather. I do a buzz cut and i suggest that as being the way to go in like 3 years. Anything under 30 is young to start losing your hair, but after that it is commonplace. Just stay in great shape past 30 and you will look far better than most of the fat-asses with a full head of hair.
Can always start looking into rogaine
Start Rogaine today and recover what you can. If all else fails shave it and grow a beard