======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====
In that glorious, blissful moment when you’re shoving that massive Burrito stuffed with steak, rice, sour cream, cheese and guac, as every bite brings you closer to food climax, are you ever thinking about how much of your daily calories you’re expending in one meal? Hell no. Never. But according to this study from the New York Times, you may want to keep it in the back of your mind.
If we are to believe this alleged “study,” the average meal at Chipotle clocks in at about 1,070 calories; for those of you keeping score at home, that’s a little over half of the recommended daily caloric intake for humans. Also, the majority of meals hit your daily sodium requirements, and 75% give you a full day’s worth of saturated fat, in one meal. Flirting with cardiac arrest never tasted so damn good. For comparison’s sake, a Big Mac super value meal at McDonalds with fries and a Coke has 1,120 calories in it.
That’s not to say you can’t eat healthy at Chipotle. You could eat one of the few meals that comes in at under 600 calories, which include Steak Crispy Tacos with sour cream and salsa, or a Veggie Bowl with rice, pinto beans, sour cream and cheese, and those both top off at 535 calories. You could CERTAINLY eat those…if you’re some kind of pantywaist food snob. Veggie burritos, soft tacos and chicken burrito bowls all contain less than 900 calories, in case you always go for max flavor.
Do you really want to think about being calorie conscious at Chipotle? No. Never. If you’re gonna go Chipotle, you better go big. If you’re counting calories, you pretty much have no business being here. You want healthy? Go eat a salad like a rabbit.
There’s only one way to do Chipotle. Chicken Burrito, load it up with the works, and get yourself some chips and guac to go with it. That’ll be 1,795 calories, 113% of your daily saturated fat, and 119% of your day’s sodium requirement. That’s right. Above 100% of the daily recommended intake of salt. You want steak? That’s 2090 calories. Or try the Quesarito, which is currently unable to be measured on any kind of nutritional system devised by man or God.
Then go wreck your office toilet. You earned it, champ.
[via New York Times]
Image via Ken Wolter / Shutterstock.com
Respond
@JayTasShow
@FireJayTas
All the calories are already posted on that giant red-ish board they call a “menu”… so I don’t really understand why a study was needed to tell us this
In other news, it has been discovered that bears, yes bears, actually do shit in the woods.
JayTas trying to ruin Chipotle for me. PGP #fireJayTas
Two sides of chicken and guac. 590 calories and 60+ grams of protein. It’s around $6 too.
Other than sodium (which who gives a shit,unless you have a heart condition, in that case make your own damn food at home, what the fuck are you doing in Chipotle anyway?), the bowls are not bad for you.
Sure, if you pile fats on there like Brian Williams piles lies on his stories, shit gets out of hand. But as long as you keep your fats in check (cheese, sour cream, or guac, pick one or two, not doubles of each, and have a side of self respect while you’re at it), then the only bad thing about your ‘potle experience will be the evil demons that are escaping your body a few hours later.
TLDR: get your shit together. #firejaytas
agreed worked for these fatties http://chipotless.com/
Damnit JayTas, you ruin everything good in this world
Just cut the burrito in half, save the other half for later…problem solved.
I say this with all due respect, but you are out of your goddamn mind.
What are you, a savage? You want leftovers, get two burritos.
I love me some Chipotle, but nothing worse than a leftover burrito stinking up the whole fridge the next day. Gotta eat it all in one shot and go back the next day if you want more.
Go to hell.