20 Reasons Why Pizza Is Better Than Sex

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Admittedly, we have some really odd conversations with our friends. Somehow those conversations always arrive at the topics of pizza and sex, with a little Chipotle occasionally thrown in. The other night during the course of one of these fucked up chats, one of our friends boldly declared that “Pizza is better than sex.” An interesting statement for sure, but it certainly got us thinking – what if pizza really is better than sex? Given that we were able to come up with 20 reasons in under 20 minutes, it’s certainly possible. So order up some ‘za and contemplate the possibilities…

1. You can have pizza whenever, wherever you want it
2. No one ever got arrested for paying for pizza
3. Pizza may give you a food baby, but it can’t make you pregnant
4. No one ever gets upset when pizza comes early
5. Having pizza alone is just as good as having it with someone else
6. No one thinks it’s weird when pepperoni or ranch dipping sauce is involved in pizza
7. Pizza always smells good
8. If you don’t finish pizza, it’s ok. You’re definitely having more later.
9. Pizza doesn’t care how you look
10. It’s easy to find people to have pizza with you
11. No one is critical about how you eat pizza
12. You don’t have to wonder if pizza will text you the next day
13. There are lots of new positions you can try with pizza – folding it in half, eating the crust first, cutting it up – and pizza is always ok with it
14. Pizza can make you fat, but it can’t give you an STD
15. You always want to swallow pizza
16. Pizza is good both hot and cold
17. Pizza will still be there in the morning
18. No one goes to rehab for pizza addiction
19. When you want pizza to leave, you just put it in the trash
20. People disappoint, pizza is eternal

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Jenna Crowley

Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, documenting her love of all things cheese related, and hosting the new PGP podcast Don't Take It From Us. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at JennaLCrowley@gmail.com.

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