The “Obamacare Onesie” Guy Douches Throughout History

A lot of criticism has been given to the holiday-themed Obamacare advertisement depicting onesie-wearing “Pajama Guy” drinking hot chocolate preparing to discuss signing up for health insurance on Healthcare.gov with what we can only assume is his family. Little do these critics know, Pajama Guy has actually been discussing signing up for health insurance throughout American history.

1. General Washington and his soldiers actually passed the time as they crossed the Delaware River listening to Pajama Guy tell tales of how signing up on Healthcare.gov is an easy way to get affordable health insurance for wounded minutemen.

2. Pajama Guy had an unfortunate encounter with Andrew Jackson at the Battle of New Orleans while he proceeded to #GetTalking with British soldiers about why they should sign up for affordable healthcare.

3. Pajama Guy had a front row seat to Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address, but was unable to take in the moment as he was haunted by thoughts of all the wounded soldiers whose injuries could have been treated with affordable healthcare from Healthcare.gov.

4. During WWI, Pajama Guy volunteered his time sitting with soldiers in the trenches discussing how signing up for affordable healthcare was the most important thing for them and their families.

5. Pajama Guy took some time to discuss with the crew of the Enola Gay that had the citizens of Hiroshima taken just a few minutes out of their day to sign up for affordable healthcare they would have gotten better, quicker treatment for their devastating injuries.

6. While trekking through the jungles of Vietnam, Pajama Guy took the time to sit down with the soldiers to discuss their healthcare options under the new healthcare law. He offered them hot chocolate, but Southeast Asia is no place for hot chocolate.

7. During the Woodstock music festival, Pajama Guy explained to his fellow attendees how although medical marijuana is not covered by the affordable health care plans certain prescription painkillers that can give you a pretty good buzz are.

8. Last, but not least, Pajama Guy attended an obama rally to learn how Healthcare.gov will operate without any problems whatsoever, just like everything else the government does, and everyone will be signed up for affordable health care by the end of 2013.