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This is not a clever, or particularly interesting piece. These are simply the ramblings of a young adult who loves Coffee and Alcohol. I’ve been constantly thinking about which would I rather give up? It’s really not a very difficult or thought provoking question for most people, but let’s kill some of our day, and take a look at both sides.
I am 100% addicted to coffee. They’re like cigarettes for me. When I first heard about cigarette smokers trying to quit and not being able to see people smoking cigarettes because they’d get an itch for a smoke, I didn’t quite get it. Then my junior year of college, my friend introduced me to Iced Coffee and now I understand what they meant. What a fucking asshole that “friend” was for introducing me to this absolutely incredible stimulant. I used to be able to slump my way through days in a semi haze, pretty sleepy and not particularly attentive but I was sleepy and happy and missed out on so many of the inconveniences attached to coffee. Waiting in line for coffee, spending money on coffee, listening to other people talk about their favorite kinds of coffee, I was in a world of ignorant bliss.
Then I was introduced to Iced Coffee and became fucking hooked. Now every time I see a Dunkin Donuts, I immediately think about getting a medium Iced Coffee with some creamer. I don’t even need the coffee most of the time, I just want one because it’s something to do. Maybe I’ll be even more ready for the day and become more productive or I’ll remain just as tired, but with a 100 percent heart rate increase that definitely can’t be good for me. While I especially don’t need the coffee shits, brown teeth stains and absolute crashes in energy after the caffeine wears off, even these negatives make it a hard drink to give up. $3 for an energy boost? Why wouldn’t I buy one? Oh, this little brown drink is gonna make me actually pay attention in econ 102? It’ll help me focus in the office until lunch when I can get another one? Sign me the fuck up. Yeah, the downsides mentioned suck and yeah, I know most people my age are gonna say to just get Adderall or whatever all the lemmings are doing (I’ve heard smelling salts are in now?) because it’s what everyone’s Instagram explore pages are saying they should do.
But then there’s the other side of the debate. Coffee makes the workplace better, but what about the drinks that make the bar infinitely better? Yes, that oh so amazing combination of grain, barley, yeast and hops. Alcohol. It brings us so much pain and yet we keep going back to it because of all the excitement and interest it brings us. I mean yes, it’s also true that sometimes it tastes good. That is definitely a plus too. It’s also the atmosphere and the occasion of a well timed binge drinking session. A cold beer or five at a ball game. A tequila and apple juice on the beach. A shot of Jameson to just about push you over the edge at the bar and make the night particularly interesting or just downright sloppy, but who says that’s a bad thing? It’s the morning after decision that will decide whether you’re a coffee or alcohol purist. When you go out for brunch at an overpriced but extremely aesthetic spot what are the first three orders you place? Mimosa (Or Bloody Mary), Coffee, Water.
What would you rather do, give up the Coffee or give up Alcohol?
Are you taking the Mimosa or the latte art that seems a little too extra, even for your own basic self? For me, I’d rather give up coffee. I’ll try and go to bed a little earlier and just be a little healthier Sunday to Thursday to keep the fun nights. While Monday morning is gonna be absolutely brutal and walking by six dunkin donuts on my walk to work is going to challenge every fiber of my body, I’ll dig deep like an athlete in the fourth quarter and find the strength needed to not go in and get a delicious iced coffee. And while some of those debilitating hangovers, the ones where you literally cannot leave your bed for a solid 14 hours, would not be missed, a cold drink on a Friday night after a shitty work week surely would be..
Respond
coffee, every day of the week and twice on Sunday.
next question please.
Give up coffee, get caffeine from other sources. Boom.
YUP, I could switch back to Morning Monster Ultra, but I have little replacement for booze until Michigan legalizes weed
Morning me and nighttime me give two completely different answers.
Nighttime me also wants coffee. A cup of Joe before the pregame is a blessing.
Sunday aggressively hungover: “Ok I really need to detox and give up alcohol for a while”.
Friday at 2pm: “Yeah I’m getting obliterated tonight”.
It’s a vicious cycle but I would give up coffee for sure. What the hell are you supposed to drink at weddings, tailgates, bachelor parties, etc…
Give up coffee and pick up a mild coke habit. Problem solved.
Im a teacher that wakes up at 5, id give up coffee and teach an extra class if thats what it took to keep booze. How dare you ask this during oktoberfest season.
I think from a strictly social life aspect this one seems pretty easy, not to mention there are plenty of alternatives to coffee
Water. Give up the others and you’re messing with the balances of life. A stimulant with your depressant for the perfect degenerate equilibrium.
“Do you know why I don’t drink water? Because fish fuck in it.”-Woodhouse
Correction: “I never touch the stuff. Fish fuck in it.” – Reggie
OCD kicked in and had to make sure it was right.
I really don’t think I could ever give up either….
This is a Sophie’s choice I wasn’t quite prepared to answer
Coffee simply passes the time to my next drink.