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Last weekend while having dinner with a friend, I overheard a couple arguing about what kind of booze the two of them should be bringing to another couple’s “stock the bar” party. The man was suggesting scotch because he wanted to bring them something a little bit out of the ordinary while the woman was insisting that they get a high-end tequila because it’s more universally loved. As so often happens in romantic relationships, the man and woman met in the middle, mutually compromising and opting for the high-end tequila.
Unfamiliar with what this whole argument was over, I leaned over to my friend across the table so as not to give away that I was eavesdropping and asked him what the hell they were going on about.
I mean, I understood from the self-explanatory name that this was an event where people showed up and stocked someone else’s bar, but he went on to tell me that a stock the bar party is done for a myriad of reasons – it could be a housewarming event, it might be used as a replacement for an open bar at an upcoming wedding, or it could be for a bridal shower (although, in this particular case, it was most likely not because men do not attend bridal showers).
Typically, guests are asked to bring two bottles of liquor or wine – one to consume while at the bar and another to put on the host’s shelf to drink at a later date. My friend also explained that sometimes, instead of booze, a guest will bring new stemware or something alcohol-centric, but the main idea behind one of these events is to get the host a bunch of booze.
I leaned back in my chair at the restaurant with what I can only describe as “stank face.” You know when John Mayer is absolutely wailing on his guitar during a solo and he’s so into whatever it is that he’s playing that he forgets what his face is doing? I was making that face, except it was because I was utterly disgusted by this entire premise.
You really can’t get any more tacky than throwing yourself a stock the bar party. This sounds like an event where invitations have to be made and a final headcount needs to be determined in advance. Planning goes into this and I’m assuming a guest list is created much like it is for a wedding.
But how anyone has the gall to make up invitations for a party where you ask others to bring booze to YOUR house that YOU keep for future events is beyond me. I know that stock the bar events have become ingrained in our culture so it doesn’t seem all that weird, but think about how ridiculous the premise of the entire thing is.
Yes, the hosts have the onus of providing some snacks and, of course, they’ll have people traipsing in and out of their new place, but in return for hosting they get couples and single people alike bringing them not one, but two bottles of booze?
And it’s not like you’re finishing every single bottle of alcohol that is meant to be drank that night. If you’re hosting a stock the bar party, it’s because you just moved into a nice place with your significant other meaning that you’re at an age where you can’t drink like you used to. They’re also (more than likely) well into their careers in a chosen field, meaning that they can afford to buy their own fucking wine and liquor. The hosts of these parties are getting away with highway robbery and we’re all just supposed to sit back and pretend like it’s hunky dory?
“Stock the bar” sounds more like something an incredibly cheap low-life down to his last dime would put on so that they can get a year’s worth (or more) of alcohol for the low, low price of free. I simultaneously hate anyone who does this but I also respect the hell out of them because it’s so patently absurd. And I really shouldn’t even be talking shit because I know that in probably two years time I’m going to be attending at least a few of these things with a smile on my face as I hand off two bottles of top-shelf liquor to an undeserving prick and his stupid fucking girlfriend.
Getting things for free is fun. Getting those same things for free under the guise that you’re somehow doing someone else a favor is really fun. I can’t do anything but tip my cap to anyone who throws a stock the bar party. You people are true legends in the scamming universe. .
Respond
jduda@grandex.co
I have no problem with a Stock the Bar party if you combine it as a housewarming.
*and a full meal is provided
Agreed. If you’re having them bring you something for free you better offer the guests something back…
I think that’s assumed. Well maybe not a full meal, but definitely some food beyond just chips/dip. When we had ours last year, we did pigs in a blanket and pizza. Fun was had, food was eaten, drinks were drunk and our toilet was hangover Christened the next morning.
This is key
Honestly, every party I’ve ever had turns into an accidental stock the bar (beer fridge) party, because like a red blooded man I wildly overbuy on beer for parties, and all non-scumbag friends bring more beer, and I end up with more beer than I started with. It’s not on purpose by any stretch. And anyways, all my degenerate friends end up drinking all of each others’ beer anyways, it’s more like we’re storing beer at each others’ houses for later consumption.
This is the correct and only way.
Now I’m stuck with a 12 pack of “truly” spiked soda water
I’ve Truly drank leftover ones of these hungover on a Sunday and I am not at all mad about it.
How about an old fashioned house warming. BYOB and leave what you don’t drink
I thought you consume and gift the same bottle? Less scammy and then you have a bunch of 1/2 filled bottles of liquor in reserve to match the taste of any guest without having to buy everything under the sun.
I hate the feeling of asking for a handout
Thought this was the norm for housewarming parties.
I feel like our generation does this under no guise at all, anyway. I mean, you go to a friends house for a party – be it birthday party, engagement party, etc. – and you’re not bringing a bottle of liquor or wine?
You’re right – no one should show up to any sort of party empty handed – but two bottles for STB is ridiculous. And you can’t just bring something shitty, it’s got to be something they can put in their bar cart on display
You right you right.
First I’m hearing of it, and yeah, it’s a dumb concept.
Any stock the bar party I get invited to will be receiving two lovely plastic bottles of Popov.
I’m about to have a house warming and will be providing the booze. This is to both entice my friends to drive from uptown to the burbs, while also being a power move showing I have a house and the funds to get everyone smashed.
It’s like going to a kids birthday party and you buy them a gift and they give you a goodie bag for coming, except you’re also buying the goodie bag.
Power move is to show up with a plastic bottle of peach flavor Burnett’s
Are these not just housewarming parties? I’m all for it if someone’s moving to a new place, but other than that, you just sound cheap/lazy
I would generally disagree with this take except in the case where a couple or individual did this more than once or not related to a big event like moving into their first house or something wedding related. If you host multiple stock the bar parties you’re probably trash.
Stock the bar parties are a great idea in general, but just can’t be abused. Also you can’t expect or demand guests to bring top-shelf or two bottles. I think that is overkill. One bottle of moderate quality is sufficient in my opinion.
You uncultured swine. STB parties are awesome and a great time. Plus, when you go back to the friend’s house you have an excuse to drink their nice stuff and they can’t say no
One of those occasions where all I can do is throw my hands up and say “damnit, I actually have to agree with Duda on this take.”
Good, then they can use that to clean their flat top stove
This was meant for popov guy don’t know why its showing up here