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I’m a simple man with a relatively simple palate. I am as adventurous as they come when we’re talking about exotic foods, but that it not the case when discussing drinks. While there have been times where I’ve gone outside my comfort zone when it comes to beverages, I tend to stick to the classics, whether it’s with alcohol or without it.
I like a Perrier with no flavor notes (although on occasion I’ve been known to enjoy a L’Orange if the mood strikes). Drinking a Coca-Cola classic speaks to me on a spiritual level – you can keep your vanilla, cherry, and zero calorie gimmicks away from me. On the alcohol side, I like domestic light beer. Seriously.
IPAs give me a horrible headache after two or three and while I do find sour beer quite tasty, that’s not something that is meant for longevity. I can suck down one or two of those before I start feeling like shit. And don’t get me started on beer flights, a trend that I honestly find offensive. I don’t want five glasses with four ounces of beer in each of them. I just want to sit down with a pint and drink without having to rate and give my opinion on the hot new IPA that got brewed in a Williamsburg bathtub.
And then there’s hard liquor, the stuff that we put into cocktails when beer just won’t do the trick. I’m a martini man, myself. I drink vodka sodas or whiskey ginger-ale when I’m out at the bar, and if it’s the appropriate setting I’ll even order a Manhattan to have at the dinner table before my meal arrives. Please not that a Manhattan is something you drink directly before a meal. Don’t be ordering one when you’re out with your buddies at a dive bar – you’ll look like an asshole.
All of these drinks have one major thing in common, though – they are incredibly simple to make and when ordered from even a fairly crowded bar take less than a minute to pour up for the paying customer.
Craft cocktails are nothing new – they’ve been extremely popular for years now. Entire bars sprout up out of the ground every week dedicated exclusively to the creation of drinks with high quality ingredients and mixologists who take pride in what they’re making. Drinks called “Penicillin” (two different kinds of scotch, lemon juice, honey simple syrup, and the must have ingredient – crushed ice) and the “Ramos Gin Fizz” (gin, simple syrup, lemon juice, lime juice, egg white, heavy cream, and orange flower water) are just the tip of the iceberg.
We live in an age where you’re looked at sideways if you don’t order some complicated cocktail that takes the bartender five minutes to create. Five minutes may not seem like a long time, but I assure you it is when you’re standing at a crowded bar with debit card in hand trying to decide if you want to keep your tab open or closed.
I can’t personally comment on working in a bar because I never have, but I can’t imagine being a mixologist is very much fun. You’re constantly getting peppered with questions about what is inside of a particular cocktail and the process of making these things is so time intensive and laborious that the juice doesn’t seem worth the squeeze.
I don’t want to pay 14 dollars for a craft cocktail that not only takes a long time to make, but also doesn’t even taste that much better than a vodka soda with a lemon wedge in it. Many of these drinks are heavy in the sugar department, meaning the hangover is just going to be worse than it would be for a night out where you’re drinking Tito’s/Perrier.
Just because your drink has ingredients in it that I can’t pronounce and requires a fucking blow torch to make doesn’t mean it’s superior. Most people will have to Google the things put inside of drinks at a craft cocktail bar because in all honesty, who the hell knows what a pineapple marjoram cocktail is?.
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jduda@grandex.co
Wow. A good take for once. So proud.
-JG
Dude, the “JG” at the end just killed me lol
Nived,
I appreciate you for your tremendous perspectives. Keep up the good work and don’t feed the trolls as the kids are saying.
-JG
Sometimes I get crafty and mix miller lite with deep eddy grapefruit. I don’t recommend it at all but it is my iconic craft cocktail.
Have been sticking to light beers and Smirnoff for the last year, haven’t looked back since
Busch light / Tito’s and water with lime.
bud light and titos. Also just found out I really like Jameson.
Try Tullamore Dew. You’re welcome
This. Tullamore Dew is what actual Irishmen drink and it is far superior to Jameson.
I’ll report back on Monday boys
Hmm, I woulda picked you for a martini man
Not a bad take over all. What’s with the beer flight hate though? You sample 4-5 beers you’ve never had before and then buy the one you like.
They upset his tummy and/or give him a headache. JD’s stomach is possibly softer than one of his women’s shirts.
Bringing up the fact that I wear blouses on occasion (in a blog about cocktails, no less) says a lot more about your fragile ego than it does about me
hit ’em up JD
It’s textbook toxic masculinity
Don’t fall into Duda’s troll trap
It was weaker than his stomach.
Because be an adult and make up your mind
Yeah that’s real easy to do when you walk into a new brewery. Spice up your Coors Light ritual.
It’s all about the time and place. But if I’m gonna be paying 500% markup, I might as well get something I can’t make at home.
The best kind of drinks? The kind that get you drunk. I’d worry less about what folks are drinking and more about your style choices JD
But you can follow him on insta and know what to buy the Mrs for Christmas.
Hey JD, may be an unpopular opinion, but it’s okay to treat yourself every now and then.
Which is worse, ordering a cocktail at a dive bar, or ordering a regular drink at a fancy cocktail bar?
Ordering a cocktail at the dive bar is a dick move
by the way this was an actual question i’m interested in opinions on
If I’m at a nice place, I’ll ask for a BL, and of told they don’t have it, I’ll ask if it it’s a commie joint. Real winner with the avant garde crowd.
It depends on the type of alcohol you’re ordering. It is acceptable to order a classic at a cocktail bar. Conversely, it would be gauche to order domestic beer at a craft beer bar. For wine bars, they simply do not offer unworthy wines so there’s no “incorrect” choice.
I thought the rule of thumb was to make fun of people who ordered intricate/over the top drinks at bars?
I’m a trash vodka pineapple or bourbon water guy usually though so I’m not sure if that’s much better.
The only issue I have with a “craft cocktail” is when it’s a simple cocktail where they’ve swapped out the ingredients with higher-quality components. I assure you, unless you’re got super tastebuds, you aren’t going to notice the difference between a rail bourbon or some exotic one they just up-charged you $5 on to make a type of drink whose literal objective is to mask poorer quality liquor components.
Otherwise, I’m absolutely going to pay a premium on drinks I can’t be assed to make myself. And a drink like the Ramos Gin Fizz that requires over 10 minutes of continuous shaking absolutely fits the bill.