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This past weekend, as I lay in filth brutally hungover from St. Paddy’s day, I came to a realization: Real TV, the kind you get from a cable box or a satellite dish, is quite a refreshing experience. In today’s day and age, one could argue that with subscription services like Netflix, Amazon Prime, or Hulu, one does not need a cable or satellite subscription. I won’t sit here and abuse this platform I have been given to scream from my keyboard and make outrageous claims like “Netflix is garbage” just to feed off of hate clicks. I can totally understand why people wouldn’t want to pay for cable or satellite because it’s a significant expense that is probably the first piece of fat I would trim during tougher times.
That being said, for as much slack as it gets, network television isn’t all that bad and is a nice change of pace from the on-demand life our society has become accustomed to and here is why.
1. Fewer options mean more time watching and less time searching.
Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon Prime all have seemingly endless titles to choose from. Sure, it is probably only in the thousands. But when I am just trying to relax and find something to throw on the TV on a Sunday night, picking a show or a movie can be overwhelming. I can’t count the number of times I have asked my wife “What do you want to watch?” Only for us to spend 15 minutes searching for something and end up with:
A.) Something disappointing or
B.) Re-watching The Office or Scrubs for the 8th time.
I don’t pay for thousands of channels or Showtime, HBO, or any of that extra stuff, so I’ve got like a hundred or so channels to flip through and the cable guide is a hell of a lot easier to navigate than searching Netflix on my smart TV. Sometimes less is more.
2. “TV Classic” movies are the shit.
You know what I am talking about. The types of movies that may be present on some streaming service or even in your DVD/Blu-Ray collection, but that you can’t help but sit through the entire thing in all of its glory whenever it comes on TV. We are talking the likes of The Shawshank Redemption, The Departed, The Day After Tomorrow, and Wedding Crashers. There a ton of them out there that are ALWAYS on TV somehow, and I will watch them every time I scan past them. There was one point in college where I watched Water World six times in one week because Sci-Fi basically had it on repeat. These films just aren’t the same when they aren’t experienced on television and there is no denying that.
3. Tweeting live television is fun.
If you haven’t done this before it is probably because you don’t have Twitter. I am a big fan of doing this myself. It could be a big game or maybe you happen to catch your favorite movie, Tommy Boy at the same time as an internet friend.
It’s not only fun, but it is also a good opportunity to rack up the likes from people who are doing the exact same thing as yourself. I am sure there is someone out there reading this that has a pinned tweet about #TheBachelor in which they got into the triple-digit likes because of that hashtag they threw on a tweet during the airing of one episode.
4. Commercials are to be coveted.
You’re probably asking yourself “Who is this moron that thinks commercials are a benefit of cable television?” Well, commercials get a bad reputation, and for good reason. The majority of them are useless at best and annoying at worst. For anyone living in New England, you know exactly what I am talking about when I say I’d rather jam an ice pick in both of my ears than listen to another Bob’s Furniture commercial. However, if you look at commercials through a different lens, they are aren’t totally useless. It’s a great time to check the phone, get up and use the bathroom, grab a snack, rub one out, whatever it is you can get done in 3-4 minutes before your program is back on. Commercial breaks are a built-in spot for you take care of business instead of having to pause a movie at an inconvenient spot because you waited till you were actually on the cusp of pissing yourself. Besides, how else would you stay ahead of pop culture if you aren’t catching the latest Dilly Dilly commercial when it first airs?
5. You don’t get asked, “are you still watching The Trailer Park Boys?”
I won’t beat this to death because there are 1 million memes on the internet taking care of this for me. If I don’t have to find the remote and click “yes,” it’s one less movement I have to do when I’m sunk deep into my couch paralyzed from the Sunday Scaries. Cable wins..
Respond
@207Cush
My favorite things about cable:
1. Live sports
2. Seeing which word TNT/FX deems the best replacement for “fuck” in any given film
My favorite: Snakes on a plane. “I’m tired of these monkey fighting snakes on this Monday to Friday plane!”
“Yippee ki yay Mr. falcon”
Seinfeld re runs get me over the hump when I work at home.
Great post. The problem with Hulu, Netflix, etc is you can only watch one thing at a time and that gets hard, especially if there’s sports on
I think I like having the extra money in my pocket each month I don’t pay for cable instead, though.
I still watch ATH/PTI/SVP every night on TV
That’s all I’ll watch on ESPN as well aside from live sports anymore. Only decent shows that are left.
The Simpsons reruns on FXX before bedtime have become an almost daily tradition.
Friends on nick@nite for me
Youtube TV is tight. Dude, the future is crazy.
Youtube TV is great although not having picture-in-picture was brutal for March Madness last weekend.
Thank you for saying it right – St PaDDy’s Day. As an Irishman, I cringe whenever I see/hear Patty’s Day
Rush Hour and Gone in 60 Seconds will always be on tv and I’ll always watch them.
Low key Weekday routine after work as follows:
Pardon the interruption while I change and do a few chores
Modern family re-runs while I cook / eat dinner
South Park / Office Re-runs or Live sports as background noise while I dick around on the computer until bed