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The time of drunken debauchery has come and gone. St. Patrick’s Day is over. I had a drinking event on my calendar that started at 8:00 in the morning, and much to my surprise, it took a lot of convincing to get me to partake. Sure, I went, but my anxiety was at an all-time high. How did this happen? Where did I go wrong? Is this just growing up? I don’t have an answer to any of those, but the more I think about it, the more I realize that my teenage self would want to punch my current self in the face. Here are 25 reasons why.
I’m not stoked about the new Avengers movie.
I work in a corporate office.
I am no longer capable of getting hammered on a daily basis.
I don’t leap at the thought of doing shots. I mean, I still do shots, but it’s mostly begrudgingly now.
I’m pretty in tune with Top 40 pop music now.
I, like, really enjoy reading.
I only really get fired up about my college rivalry when I’m hammered.
I’m actually pretty stoked to live without roommates.
The idea of spontaneously moving to a completely new city absolutely terrifies me.
I have way fewer sunglasses than I thought I would by now.
In bed by 10, up no later than 7:15, every week day, no matter what.
Deviating from my regular route to work was the most fucking exhilarating thing I’ve experienced in months.
I own four pairs of jeans and none of them fall in the “skinny” category.
I have a weekly appointment to watch The Bachelor.
I make it a point to eat a salad with lunch every day.
Still haven’t gotten the whole anxiety thing figured out.
Still don’t have over 1,000 followers on any social media platform.
Mimosas are fucking dope.
I live in Chicago and haven’t eaten deep dish pizza in over a year.
My workout routine consists of the following: running.
Tripping while going up the stairs to the train has become a regular occurrence.
Finding an apartment is starting to feel like Tiny House Hunters, and I’m totally okay with that.
I’m not confident that I can do a pull up right now.
I audibly groaned at the thought of waking up before 8:00 a.m. to drink on St. Patrick’s Day.
I kinda think dick jokes are played out. .
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Charlie
Using sarcasm as a defense mechanism since 1993. At any given moment I'm either tired, drunk, or stressed out. Get at me at charliepgp@gmail.com or whatever.
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Teenage me also thought Marvel films were stupid, and adult me knows dick jokes will always be funny
RT.
tripping on stairs happens a lot more than I care to admit
Yup, sprained my ankle tripping on stairs this weekend -__- while wearing freakin converse
I can’t remember that last time I sprinted as fast as I can. I’d probably pull something if I tried.
Tried it. Did
Me too!
#26 – my favorite gifts I’ve received in the last 2 years are all clothes or cookware.
Sounds like you need to take a vacation
My number 1 reason would be: I’m 25 and I still don’t have my shit together.
The older I get the more I think no one actually has their shit together. Anyone who says they’ve figured it out is lying or delusional.
I want to do the new city thing too, part of the appeal is stepping out of my comfort zone and making a decision completely of my own volition while I still can. Do you like Chicago or are you only there cause your parents basically picked it for you?
There’s just a lot going on with this comment
“I like, really, enjoy reading” so true
Okay but some of these are actually good things.
I want to punch you in the face
Dude, your name is John lol