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Yesterday, I penned a blog about my unrequited love for one of the most famous women on planet Earth.
Emily Ratajkowski is, for better or for worse a sex icon, known to the general public for her looks. And while it’s tragic and sad that the world judges people by their looks rather than their personality, I’m not so sure that Emily really gives a fuck.
It sucks that we live in a society that values beauty over brain, but no amount of critically acclaimed film roles or indie tv show cameos is going to change the world’s perception of Emily Ratajkowski (see Netflix’s “Easy” and the critically acclaimed David Fincher film “Gone Girl”).
She made a name for herself by dancing naked in a Robin Thicke video and then turned around and flipped that attention into an incredibly successful modeling career.
I’ve read plenty of stuff on Emily’s ongoing fight to create a dialogue around the #MeToo movement and women’s rights as a whole. Women expressing themselves like she does every day on Instagram should be celebrated, not chastised.
It’s noble and absolutely a cause worth fighting for and bringing to the forefront of everyone’s minds. I’m all for women’s rights and feminism, but just typing that feels a bit empty. I don’t claim to know the plight of the modern woman, so I won’t try to. I’m a straight, white male and that means I have advantages that other people simply don’t have. I acknowledge my privilege and anything that I can do to help further the plight of disenfranchised human beings is something that I will try to do.
Was my article about Emily Ratajkowski objectification? Absolutely. From my standpoint that was a pretty glowing review, though, and in hindsight I probably could have mentioned her philanthropic work alongside pictures of her in bikinis. I’ll put my hand up there and say I’m sorry. I’ll try to be better in the future when I’m writing about supermodels.
Now having said all of that in the most delicate way I could think of, I do have a bone to pick with one reader who felt the need to send me a novel via Instagram early this morning regarding my relationship with my girlfriend and how this Emrata blog is going to affect it. Here is what she said, and I’ll break down the parts I think are worth mentioning:
“She’s actually a really cool person who supports arts in addition to having a symmetrical, ethnically ambiguous face…you might wanna expect articles like that to come up during your next fight with your girlfriend. ”
As I’ve mentioned, Emily is philanthropic and I think that’s awesome. As for fighting with my girlfriend about a blog that I wrote in jest? I really hate to drag to my girlfriend into this whole thing, but this idiot who DM’d me has left me no choice.
“It isn’t a bad thing for you to think other women are hot.”
No shit. My girlfriend talks incessantly about Orlando Bloom and Michael Fassbender, telling me in a half-joking manner that she’d leave me in a heartbeat to have sex with either one of them. Can you blame her? Absolutely goddamn not. If she had the opportunity to have sex with one of those guys there isn’t a damn thing I could do about it and if you have a girlfriend and say that you could do something about it, you’re a liar. That’s the truth.
“…you just announced to ~1000 people that there is a woman you think is so hot that you want to be notified when she posts something.”
I can’t speak for other writers on this website, but sometimes I’ll embellish or straight up lie in my blogs to make them more palatable to an audience. I like to make people laugh, and mentioning that I had notifications set up for Emrata seemed like a good way to do that. I don’t actually have notifs set up for her. That’d be psychotic.
“It would be like if your girlfriend started talking about this guy Josh at work….he said this funny thing but he doesn’t know her and she doesn’t have a chance with him…”
Me writing a blog about Emily Ratajkowski, A WORLD FAMOUS SUPERMODEL, is in no way comparable to my girlfriend having an office crush on “Josh from work.” Not even remotely in the same stratosphere, and for this girl to think that this is a solid argument is honestly just sad.
“I’m by no means chastising you.”
How is that diatribe you just sent me at 8:30 in the morning not chastising me and trying to paint me as a cheating, conniving scumbag? I wrote a fucking blog in a tone I think would be best described as half-serious and you decided that you could speak for my girlfriend? You’re out of your fucking element right now.
I’m not even going to acknowledge the rest of this DM because it’s frankly beneath me. If you want to come at me with some constructive criticism about something I’ve written I’m all for that, but don’t try and make something into a scandal when there isn’t anything there. It is days like today when I wish I lived in the pre-internet era. Have a great fucking day, everyone. *drops mic*.
Respond
jduda@grandex.co
Johnathon, what’s our mystery DM’er look like? 1-10?
ah Johnathon, MC of THE ToyotaThon.
But also, I do need to know, is the salty DM’er a fox or a not-fox.
boom ROASTED
That’s my joke.. Damn it Sadgrad2015
Hey girl who “adds it to her list”, you know who else make lists with malice in mind?…serial killers, terrorists, Hillary Clinton, The Kremlin, the CIA, drug lords, pharmaceutical companies, the us military’s drone program, hitmen (and/or women), middle managers, secretaries, and algorithms lol
Oh, and people who write listacles as well as assholes in an online blog’s comment section that specifically lists out shitty people who make lists
Don’t forget Santa and Steve Buscemi
SFPL
I’ve never been to the San Francisco Public Library but we have the internet now so I’ll just like google stuff instead
Stuff Frat People Like was a writer for TFM back in the early days who wrote entirely in list format and got quite a lot of abuse for it
let the frat go
“I’m going to blog I think” out come the big guns
Don’t lie Duda you got a boner when you saw that reader’s criticism of you
The only thing that I took from this crazy persons diatribe about absolutely nothing is the fact that Duda’s girlfriend seems pretty chill
I got that vibe when he wrote an article about wearing her clothes.
“The whole country has turned in to b****-a** ******”
-Dave Chappelle (2018)
A well deserved roast on her.
If you don’t allow your SO to have a list of people that they are allowed to fuck if given the opportunity, you are trash.
Somebody buy that girl a vibrator, or hook her up with a tinder. She is repressed