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Hamburgers are fantastic, a universal crowd pleaser. Plain or with cheese. Topped with bacon, fried onions, avocado, or barbeque sauce. There’s truly no wrong way to make a good burger (unless you’re a vegetarian/vegan, no one wants to hear you insist that your tofu patty is “just as good as your hamburger”).
But, much like the pizza debate, there’s a good amount of regional pride when it comes to the best hamburgers. Californians have In-n-Out, Texans have Whataburger, east coasters have Five Guys, and Midwesterners have Steak ‘n Shake. All of them have their merits, and every state has their preference as to chain and style. Some are respectable, even if it’s not my style, some are pure trash, and some are weird. Here’s what is your state’s most popular burger, according to a Ranker study of 10,000 burger fans, and my gut reactions.
Double Double (In-n-Out): California, Washington, Nevada, Utah, Colorado, Arizona, Hawaii, Illinois
I’m an east coast homer, so I must stand the company line that Five Guys is the superior burger to all. In-n-Out is by no means bad, it’s just… overly complicated. Animal style, Monkey Style, Frying Dutchman, mustard-grilled patty burger. Like Jesus Christ In-n-Out are you so insecure that you can’t just exist on a straight burger and french fries?
I do applaud these states for choosing the Double Double, In-n-Out’s take on the standard double cheeseburger. I have had the pleasure of having it and I would definitely recommend giving it a try. However, the fries are shit. Just pure trash fries. Five Guys kills the fry game, and for that reason, you west coasters should forever bow down to your burger joint overlords.
Original Whataburger: Texas, Oklahoma, Louisiana
I must reserve full judgment on this choice since I have not yet had the pleasure of having a real Whataburger. Luckily, I am going to be in Houston this week for business, meaning that I will have the opportunity to try this local fare. From my brief surveys of friends with Texas roots (including our own Grandex family with many locals), the two most popular recommendations are the original and double cheeseburger. I love that it’s a chain that with an “original” recipe on the menu, so big points for you.
Hamburger (Five Guys): Idaho, Wyoming, Nebraska, Alabama, Mississippi, South Carolina, North Carolina, Virginia, Tennessee, Kentucky, Indiana, Michigan, Delaware, New Jersey, Vermont, Maine
The GOAT, baby. The Wayne Gretzky of hamburgers. This is how I know Five Guys is so superior. Not only is it the most mentioned joint on the map, it’s most popular burger is a simple hamburger. No extra frills or dress-ups. No need for distractions with fancy toppings, extra patties, or even cheese. It’s a stand-alone burger that gets the job done. When you’re good, you tell everyone; when you’re the best, they tell you.
Butterburger (Culver’s): Minnesota, Iowa, Wisconsin
I’ll be real with you, not only have I never tried this burger, I’ve never heard of Culver’s until now. The fact that I’ve known midwesterners and never once have they interjected into a conversation with “sure Five Guys has great fries, but it’s nothing like Culver’s” says everything I need to know about the quality. Liking Culver’s is similar to liking Nickleback: you’ll never admit it publicly, and go along with people whenever they talk about vastly superior burgers. But you go home and jam on some Culver’s wondering why they don’t get the respect that they deserve!
No, I don’t like Nickleback. They’re not as bad as the internet memes them to be, but they’re not like Justin Bieber-level bad.
Western Bacon Cheeseburger (Carl’s Jr.): Oregon
Leave it to Oregon to come up with the most hipster choice on the map. Like Carl’s Jr. is sorta mainstream, but has anyone eaten there? Or knows anyone who’s eaten at one? Every year they have those Super Bowl commercials with Kate Upton or some other model being sexy while eating one. Where are they getting the funding for those endeavors? Apparently from the entire state of Oregon.
Double ‘N Cheese Steakburger (Steak ‘n Shake): North Dakota, Missouri
Now I have actually been able to sample this burger and Steak ‘n Shake fare in general, during my time in law school (North Carolina has limited burger fare, which is why they stick with Five Guys). Let me tell you, this place is straight traaaaaash. I mean, for a place that calls itself “Steak ‘n Shake,” you would think this would be a place that prides it on having a great simple burger and milkshake.
Nope, the burgers are basically Wendy’s-level (I mean that both as a compliment to Wendy’s as well as a slight to Steak ‘n Shake), and the shakes are far inferior to local options. Cookout–which gets a shoutout for being good burgers with great shakes, but had the unfortunate downside of always facing 5G in this survey — was always a better option when I lived in North Carolina. When a place that is exclusively drive through beats a sit-down place at burgers, you’re doing something wrong.
Bacon Cheeseburger (Five Guys): Montana, Kansas, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Ohio, Maryland, Pennsylvania, New York, Connecticut, Rhode Island, Massachusetts, New Hampshire
Just can’t be stopped. The sun never sets on the Five Guys empire, which occupies the first and second spots on the ranking. The beauty of this selection is, similar to the hamburger, this is a simple solid recipe. It’s a bacon cheeseburger (which is my go-to order btw). Any place can make a bacon cheeseburger, but Five Guys and Steak ‘n Shake are the only ones on the map with this classic take. If you’re not doing a bacon cheeseburger right, are you really doing anything right?
Whopper (Burger King): South Dakota, Alaska
I gotta say, if you’d asked me which major fast food burger chain was going to appear on this map I would have guessed McDonald’s (ubiquity) or Wendy’s (quality) before BK. But nope, the King makes the list while the other two are crowded out.
As to the selection, like…really? Burger King is the best burger in these states? I haven’t had Burger King since I graduated middle school and my taste buds recognized what actual beef tastes like. I get these are less populated states, but even fucking Wyoming, Vermont, and Nebraska managed to come through with actual causal chains without resorting to fast food. And those are the three least populous states in the country! Hell, even North Dakota managed to come in with Steak ‘n Shake so they didn’t look like complete, uncultured rubes, unlike their neighbors to the south. Do better South Dakota and Alaska.
Whopper Junior (Burger King): New Mexico
And at the very last second, the home of Breaking Bad and nothing else culturally relevant comes through to snatch the crown of most embarrassing choice from worse Dakota and Alaska. A Whopper Junior?? Seriously, are you all just too delicate to be able to muscle down a full-on burger? You need the tiny size of this piece of crap slathered in so much mayo to cover the awful taste of the actual burger? Why don’t you just get a Happy Meal instead, so your tiny little stomachs aren’t upset. And at least this way you get a toy too. .
[via Wide Open Eats]
Respond
@joshetyler
@joshetyler
Your Culver’s assessment is incorrect.
Holy shit man…Comparing Culver’s to that band from Canada is insane and you can f right off.
And Five Guys fries are overrated.
Culver’s is fantastic. I guess it is just something that doesn’t make sense to brag about since it is mostly an upper-midwest chain that most people don’t have access to? For example, Texas raves about Whataburger, but I will have no chance to try it unless I take a wrong turn and end up in Texas. So, why should I care?
That being said, the Jucy Lucy is the burger of Minnesota. I realize this was about fast food chains, but it should always be mentioned as a write-in.
Yeah Jucy Lucy is MN’s. I wish I could say I’ve had it somewhere besides Blue Door
Stock photo burger: would
I don’t know if I can agree here – the bread:meat ratio is way off.
How can the double double be Illinois’ favorite when we don’t have an In-N-Out?
Everyone in Chicago has been to LA once and pretends they’re Californian from then on.
I have been to Los Angeles but I’ve never been to in and out.
Especially when Illinoisans have access to Portillos burgers which make 5 Guys seem like horse meat.
I need to try a Portillo’s burger. Every time I go, it’s either a hot dog or a beef
Try this: get a burger, then skip the fries and also get a hot dog.
I love horse meat
Not burger related, but can we talk about how dope Portillo’s Chocolate cake is?
Hell yes.
I’m honestly not a fan of Portillo’s burgers.
Well I’d agree with you but then we’d both be fucking wrong.
What he said.
Yeah man Culver’s is the bomb and we love talking about it. They have bomb ass butter burgers, corn dogs, cheese curds, custard and their own brand of root beer. We are unashamed about our love for Culver’s.
I had Culver’s for dinner last night. I ain’t even mad.
My issue with five guys is too many topping makes the bun soggy. That being said, their fry game is strong. You always get more than you need, which is how you should be eating fries.
Double cheeseburger, have them put a grilled cheese in between the patties, sprinkling of fries on top to soak up that soggyness, eat your emotions and hate yourself.
How are you alive?
I mean I did die once when I was 9. Came back though. Been in something of an extremely B-rate Final Destination ever since so figured I’d just roll with it.
Teach me your ways
I always ate the peanuts in lieu of french fries because I’ve spent most of my Five Guys career as a broke boi. Will have to give it a shot next time.
Five Guys for North Carolina? Fuck that noise, Cook Out all day, baby.
I came to also mention cookout. But I think their burgers are greatly helped by the fact that I can get chicken quesadillas as a side. And I think that’s beautiful.
You don’t believe this. Cookout is a great deal, but the burgers are only a moderate step up from Burger King. There’s no way you actually think Cookout has a better burger than Five Guys.
Any real fan of whataburger knows you order off the “All time favorites” menu when it comes to burgers.
Patty melt w/ grilled jalapenos or the A-1 Thicc ‘n Hearty (RIP) with grilled jalapenos are The Move.
I legitimately plan trips home to see the family over the A-1 Thick n Hearty.
You’re out of luck, because the A-1 Thick n Hearty got yanked from the menu.
This deeply hurt me. I haven’t been back to TX in a year due to work and now this? Just…. Dammit.
Sweet and spicy bacon burger is a decent replacement.
Thicc n Hearty*
“And don’t forget about those fries… They’ve got feelings, too.”
I used to hate burgers until I had Five Guys bacon cheeseburger (from PA). It showed me the light.
Whataburger is best after the bar. Many are open 24 hours and that’s the real beauty of Whataburger.
Seconded with Steak N Shake. It has saved my life more times than I can tell, especially when the only other restaurant is a fucking IHOP
You don’t know true confusion until you experience the duality of pure bliss and utter regret of housing a frisco melt and a side by side drunk at 2 AM in the back of your sober friends car.
Couldn’t wait just one week to try Whataburger before posting this?